Excessive

I am completely unprepared for my XML midterm tomorrow, so much so that it was only today that I found out that I even had a midterm in the class. I'm trying not to worry, feel regret, feel stupid and worthless, but it's difficult to fight those feelings when I already know how it's going to go. Common sense will net me between 30% to 50% of the questions, and the rest will be a struggle. I don't particularly know the syntax and differences between XPath and DOM XML parsers, nor much about IEnumerators. I'll guess and hope that I do well, I'm not really in a position to do otherwise at this point.

Today was a pretty bad day, mostly because of bringing Kairi to the vet to take care of her ear turned into quite an upsetting outting, made worse by the annoyances of being in public. For example, our cab driver (yes we had to take a cab a block to the vet) was both retarded AND rude, and I honestly hope he dies in a car accident, just so that no one ever has to suffer through his existence.

Anyway, we brought Kairi to the vet because we assumed she had a bad case of earmights or something, and that she had caused her ear to become infection from her scratching, but when the vet used a cotton swab to attempt to clean out some of the "gunk", she pulled it out with strange other gunk on it and then Kairi shook her head hard and a mass shot out, as well as a large helping of blood spray, hitting both the vet and Bekki, as well as covering the floor, table and even the garbage can. It's hard to describe what was going through my mind at the time, but I was upset. I felt a strong sense of guilt, for playing a part in letting Kairi get that bad, since I knew she was uncomfortable and that there was something wrong and I put off bringing her due to wanting to ignore a problem, or because I was lazy. I felt sad, that this wonderful creature that loves me, that is so sweet and expressive... that she was in pain and in danger and I was partially responsible.

The vet took her back in to a private area, as she was going to flush out her ear and clean it out a bit better, but didn't want us to have to see her bleed or struggle (as I'm sure those things would've upset me further). She eventually returned with Kairi wrapped in a blanket and a cone around her head, and told us that it was pretty bad, that she couldn't even see her eardrum because there was so much blockage and shit in her ear. She gave us some medicine to put in her ear twice a day (a cure-all of sorts... anti-bacterial, anti-fungal and anti-inflamitory), and also collected the mass that detached and fell from her ear to send away to be analyzed so we would know exactly what is happening in her ear, what's causing it and how to cure it. The trip cost me $300.

Once home, Kairi kinda got really scared, as she had a cone on her head and had no idea how to walk, move around or what was going on, and kept running into things, possibly hurting herself, and we tried to calm her down. We kept her in the bedroom with the door shut so that the other cats wouldn't bother her for a little bit, and tried to give her some peace and quiet to calm her down. She eventually settled on the bed for long enough for me to decide to give her her first bit of medicine in her ear, which I did, and from there I gave it about an hour to dry and/or take effect or whatever, before I took off her cone. We have had to watch her all day to make sure she doesn't scratch her ear, but she has only tried twice, and both times I don't think it was like.. super intentional to hurt her ear or anything. She's been a very good cat, and she's been spending a lot of time near us, sleeping, purring like crazy, happy to be home, and I really hope that with the mass out of her ear, and that cream medication in there now, she's feeling a lot more comfortable.

So that was my day... stressful, costly and uncomfortable.I stayed home from school so that I could take care of Kairi, but still spent a lot of my day working on school projects. I made mexican chicken and rice for dinner, watched Jimmy, and played some games (WarCraft 3, Final Fantasy 13, Half-Life 2) and tried my best to relax and calm myself from the stressful experience.

Tomorrow is going to suck, but we'll see if I can make the best of it and still feel okay. Only time will tell!

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