Excessive

Work was long and tiring today, it gave me a headache and I felt disoriented. You think I would have been happy to get home, but I'm pretty sure I was on autopilot and I barely remember even getting in.

I don't feel good.

Yes, these words have graced these pages before, and yet I sit down here again, late at night, and write the same things as I always do. I guess I should explain myself first...

I did feel like writing at some point - at one point - that's actually why I came out here, to the livingroom. I sat down with the tv off, with the intention of simply listening to the morning stream and writing, but I got sidetracked. I got sidetracked by a bowl of popcorn, the movie The Town and my mind, thoughts moving faster than I can translate into words.

Work was actually okay today, which is funny considering it's a kitchen and today is one of the hottest days on record. Today it was 40 out, feels like 50... yeah, that's pretty hot. Add the fact that I'm in a kitchen for eight hours or more, and you get a hot situation. Thankfully, I didn't really feel the effects of the heat too badly today, and the time seemed to go by pretty quickly.

Here I am, it's 2:11am and I'm awake, tired, but desperate to be entertained. I'm trying to start new games, I'm going from the laptop to the couch, putting in a game, installing a game... I can't even keep my eyes open comfortably and here I am trying to start new games. I know it makes no sense, and a normal person would've gone to sleep two hours ago.

I feel like my mind sabotages itself. Out of my control, without my consciousness being aware of what's happening. After a long week of work, and the last day of it being a brutal attack on my sanity and physical body, you would think the first of three days off would be this unbelievable start to relaxation, and would feel great. The chance to do anything I wanted, no need to worry about time, but without warning or explanation, I feel tired and aimless, I feel like I'm wasting time.

Today was a brutal and tiring day, that's left me feeling completely useless, sore, tired and exausted. I'm sure I could think of more descriptive words if I wasn't so god damn tired. I worked for 12.75 hours today, which was expected, as I had agreed to it before hand, but it doesn't make it less tiring, and it doesn't make it suck less, so please, just let me complain, because maybe it'll make me feel a bit better.

I didn't get a chance to write tonight because I fell asleep on the couch and then chose to watch a movie, "It's kind of a funny story" instead of doing anything else. I'll write tomorrow... thanks.

Work was pretty bullshit today... It was pretty much exactly what I had pictured happening, and it was unenjoyable as expected.

When I got to work I started right away on the two sandwich events that we had, a picnic lunch and a catering for five and twenty. It took a little bit, but I think I got it done faster than anyone else could've, and then afterward started on getting the BBQ for 250 people ready, which involved sliced tomatoes, pickles, onions, ketchup, mustard, relish, all that fun stuff. The BBQ prep took me up all the way to lunch pretty much, which led into getting started on the gala.

Today was another chaotic, messy day.

I haven't really written much lately, so I guess I need to do a bit of catch up.