Excessive

rockin my fuckin shades

I feel heavy again... not weight wise of course (well, a little bit) but I mean, my soul, or my mind, or whatever it is that exists in there. I feel heavy again after going through about three days of a cleansing, and feeling great, and feeling tingly about nothing, and playing games carelessly and not worrying about anything. This heavy feeling on my chest is back and I'm not sure why because it seems like everything is going okay I guess... I'm pretty apathetic about a few things, specifically people. I've almost completely stopped caring about the relationships I have with people... even so much that I've almost lost contact with my family completely, and the rest I just can't seem to bring myself to care at all... it just doesn't click inside... nothings there.

Today was a pretty bad day really... I was late for work, found out my iPod was dead, broke my glasses, and Jeff turned a joke into a big argument which ended with him threatening me. Give me a fucking break, what the fuck. Why can't I just have a good day... why does everyone I seem to interact with have to be so.. blah. I think I ended up hating everyone I talked to today. I'm just going to try to leave it all behind me and see where I go...

I'm poor again but that's to be expected only a few days away from pay day, but my entire paycheque has to go towards rent, and since I missed a day I may be a few bucks short, so I may have to get in contact with my mother *shivers* I absoloutly hate asking for money. i fucking hate it like the plague. GOD! Why the fuck am I always out of money!! WHY!? THis job is supposed to support me but I'm fucking unhappy and poor, so what's the fucking point.

I'm pretty happy with the way my hair has turned out from the other night, and I like the greyness of it. Um.. I really don't have much else to say. I have one more day of work before I get one day off, where I can attempt to recuperate my mind, and maybe start to feel a little better about myself. I'm pretty certain it's because I stopped taking my meds again, and it was for a stupid reason (Mark knows). I should just suck it up and be tired all the time.. they do seem to help... last week was proof.. but it's so much work and somewhat draining to be on them. I get irritable it seems...

impressive webkore download speeds

Bah well.. I've been listening to nonstop Miss Kittin and Covenant. Remember, fuck you, assholes!

marle is a robot. its fuckin scary.
that images is unedited (save for the border and text)

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