Excessive

Having this time off of school is really having a bad effect on most everything in my life, in so many ways. For example, I haven't had a normal meal since Monday, I haven't slept well, I haven't watched any TV, all I've really done is worked, played WoW with Ben and then got a little bit of sleep so I can work more.

I got off work two hours early, meaning that I only worked eight hours, and by got off early I mean just left at 6:15pm. I caught the bus home and eventually got home around 7:30pm, and I dunno, I felt kind of off, not sick but not that great, so I didn't think I could really stomach a real meal, not that I would want to sit down and eat a real dinner at 8pm when I have to go to bed sometime between 10 and 11... so I just had a microwave pizza and a bowl of chips, and it left me feeling full enough that I wasn't uncomfortable, so that was good enough.

I tried playing WoW to relax or reward myself for working in some way but I felt restless, I couldn't concentrate, I had a small pain in my head and I just knew right away I couldn't do it. I wish I could, I really wish I could've zoned out and had some fun but nah, I just ran a bath, took a sleeping pill, and now I'm out and watching Jimmy Fallon, writing this. So I get.. two hours maybe? Two hours of time today, to do things. To do anything.. that's not enough time to do anything at all.

I'm grumpy, I'm in a bad mood, I don't want to talk to anyone, or listen to anyone, I just want to unwind and then go to sleep. I know I'm in a bad mood, but I also know that I can't do anything about it, so...

All of the stress is catching up to me, specifically things like bills and money are starting to really bother me, specifically because today I found out that my credit card is maxed, and that's $500 I wasn't expecting to have to pay. I couldn't figure out where all those charges came from but I guess it all adds up, a couple times at the grocery store, Catacyslm Collectors Edition, Michelle's Cata for christmas, Michelle's keyboard and mouse christmas present, the christmas presents I bought on Monday... it all adds up, and my money is starting to run out, and now I'm starting to get really stressed and unhappy. When I started school, I had like.. 3500 - 4000 bucks to sit back on for safety, but now it's starting to run out and I'm only finished my second semester, so I don't really know what the fuck I'm going to do.

So I'm here, stressed, no time to myself, and I have to work everyday up and including Christmas day... and I'm just letting it get to me tonight.

I have to work tomorrow from 7am to 4pm... and then 7am to 4pm again Christmas Eve, and then 2pm to close on Christmas day.

Tomorrow I have to go shopping after work which I'm not really looking forward to at this point, but perhaps I'll feel different tomorrow. I need to go to the No Frills and Shoppers and spend money I don't have on the remaining gifts. I need to compile a list of things I've bought for everyone so I can count it up and make sure everyone gets aroung the same number of things, and then make a list of things I want to buy so I can just go in and grab the stuff and leave, so I actually have time to get home and have dinner and then maybe fucking relax at night before having to go to sleep. I feel like I didn't buy enough gifts, or try hard enough or do enough or something and when I think about it, it kind of makes me want to cry, but that's lame, so... whatever.

I still haven't wrapped my gifts or anything, and I'm just so busy all the time, I want to, you know I really want to, but I just don't have time to do anything or think about anything. I hope that I don't get depressed during Christmas... I think it was Tuesday... or maybe Monday... I just felt awesome, I felt awake, refreshed, happy, energetic, I was hopping around and listening to music and it felt great, and it's such a huge contrast to how I'm feeling today.

I suppose I should stop writing now as I've completely lost my train of thought and don't remember any of the things I wanted to continue writing about, but I know that I had something clearly in my head a few minutes ago before I was distracted by Jimmy. So tomorrow should be okay I guess, go in early, put away a giant order, probably cook in the cafe over lunch, clean up and reset the cafe for dinner and then leave, then probably the same thing the next day.

Oh yeah, I guess I haven't really mentioned that Ben and I have been playing WoW for the last couple days. I'm playing my druid and he's playing his Warlock and we're having a lot of fun hanging out on vent and doing a butt load of quests and running dungeons here and there. It's fun, and playing through the game with a friend. Leveling my druid was an easy choice because it's what I played when Ben and I leveled to level 70 for the first time, so it brings back those memories, and it will be nice to have a druid at level 85 since druids can be a tank, dps or healer, and I'll have alchemy leveled up for flasks and stuff. I look forward to playing more when we have the chance, which isn't that often but once things get a bit more routine again, it should be easier to schedule play times and things like that.

Okay, I'm done now... gonna finish Jimmy, brush my teeth and then go to sleep... check the bus schedule too, gotta know what time to walk to the bus stop tomorrow morning and be all angry.

Oh yeah, and I forgot to mention, I got my GPA, and it was 4.14 and my average was 93.1%.

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