Excessive

Last night was terrible, and I was at fault. At times - most times I suppose - I am oversensitive and difficult to deal with. Regardless of the what, why's and all that terrible stuff, the night was ruined by me, and I went to sleep almost immediately after writing last night's entry.

I woke up feeling much better... about halfway through the night, after some time to snap out of my terrible mood, I felt okay again, I felt the desire for comfort and reached out to Bekki and hugged her and felt okay. I woke up early... around 7:00am on the dot, as I.. well, Julie and I were intending to go into work for 8am, but when I got up and checked my phone, there was a message from her suggesting we perhaps go in for 8:30 or even just forget going in early at all, mainly because she had a sleepless night. I called and we agreed to just go in for 9am, so I went and laid back down, reset the alarm for a more appropriate time and just relaxed for a bit. I don't think I fell back asleep, Bekki and I just talked and enjoyed each others company.

So I worked 9am to 4pm today, and it was another good day. Productive and independent, in the sense of being left to do what I needed to do without interference or being questioned, pretty much from start to finish. Those are my favorite days, and make me feel pretty good; confident that I'm good at my job. I went in and got two picnic lunches ready (sans the sandwiches, as Chef got those ready) and then got a grand hall lunch buffet ready. It wasn't too much work, it was well paced and organized. I made a few nice salads, cleaned the fridge, put away produce, and left early at 4pm, with a ride home from Julie.

Once home I started to clean the apartment, as I usually do. Bekki was coming over for a nice beef tenderloin dinner, so I was trying my best to get my chores done before she arrived. I did the normal crap, and vacuumed the living room (just a once over, no corners or any of that fancy shit) and that felt good. Bekki basically arrived just as I was finishing the last few chores... I started dinner, and we worked on it together.

We eventually sat down and watched an episode of Game of Thrones as we ate our awesome meal... it was cooked very well (trying not to brag!). I cooked the beef perfectly rare, and I put sauteed shallots in the mashed potatoes with garlic and thyme, with green beans and baby carrots for vegetables.

After dinner, we ended up drinking coffee and talking. We talked for quite awhile, about everything.. the future, plans, the good and bad about things, it was a good talk. I mean... we talk a lot already, so it's not uncommon, so while it wasn't an odd occurrence to talk, it was just a good talk.

We eventually turned on SSX and Bekki played a couple races and then I tried to beat her time... I love that fucking game. Bekki had to leave sooner than later, so I saw her out, and went and sat down on the couch.

I curled up in the corner of the couch and read a chapter of Game of Thrones, and then a chapter of Wildwood. Both were enjoyable and awesome, and I ran a bath afterward. I enjoyed my bath, moved back in to the living room, turned on the movie Your Highness, and started writing. The movie is pretty terrible, but I just wanted it for background noise anyway.

Tomorrow I work from 1pm to 9pm, and will be getting a ride to and from with Jon probably. I actually got almost the entire day's stuff ready today, so it should be a pretty easy and relaxed shift, and I'm strangely looking forward to it. I hope it goes well and leaves me feeling good.

Right now, in this moment, I feel good. I'm going to hold on to that for as long as I can.

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