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September 28, 2004 4:14PM

I Hate Children

.beautiful.marle.
I haven't updated in a long while because of a few reasons. I'm sick with a cold, and I hate it. My nose is all stuffy, and my throat was sore (but isn't much anymore) and I sneeze every five seconds and I get headaches and my nose runs and I can't sleep or relax and it's really starting to get to me. Secondly, I haven't really updated because I've been quite busy working on the new version of the website (webkore) and have been quite busy doing that. The main task that I've been doing is converting all three years of entries into the new format, which is.. repetitive and often boring to say the least, but I do it one month at a time, take a break and start up again. Hopefully this will be the last time I ever have to 'convert' archives (as I've had to do it in the past, like the last time I changed the layout), and I can just change the system that imports them, rather than the source itself (yes, yes, I'm sure that makes no sense to you)... anyway, things are coming together and I'm enjoying the work, even if it is repetitive and boring. I'm still aiming for a january 2005 release of the site, which seems pretty realistic *crosses fingers*

.sydney.
On Saturday I went over to my Mom's new house and helped her move. She's moving into the bottom apartment of Marilyns new house, which was all renovated just for her, and she's paying a low, set rent (because they're bestfriends). I got there after a lot of the moving had been done, and Emily and I just sorta carried down boxes from the truck and stuff... we all got free beer (except Emily, she's too little for drinking!) and pizza and chillaxed and stuff... it was pretty fun, but I'm pretty sure that was when I caught my cold because it was cold out and I wasn't wearing a coat and probably caught a chill, and since I had a few beers, I really didn't notice, or care that it was cold. Anyway, Lindy drove us home later on in the afternoon, and I went to sleep when I got home... probably the first sign I was getting sick.

Yesterday I got up at 7:10 with Emily and got picked up by Lindy, who drove me over to my Mom's new place, where I was cat sitting for the day while my Mom was at work because some guys were coming to finish up renovations in the bathroom and I had to make sure the cats didn't get out. At first Sydney was pretty mean towards me, not being liked stuck in a room I suppose, and Muffin was nice, but eventually Sydney was nice and friendly as she always used to be to me. My Mom bought me a frozen lasagna for lunch and I just spent the whole time in her computer room, on my laptop, working on the site and stuff... it was no big deal really, but since I was sick, I wasn't in the best mood and I was really tired. My Mom also hooked me up with a bus ticket to get home, a ton of Zinc pills to help my cold, and $40 to buy groceries with, as payment for helping her out, which I wasn't going to take (it was supposed to be $20...) until I found out I have $0.17 to my name..the rest of the day was spent being sick and upset...

We have no future
heaven wasn't made for me
we burn ourselves to hell
as fast as it can be
and I wish that I could be a king
then I'd know that I am not alone

Maggots put on shirts
Sell each others shit
sometimes I feel so worthless
sometimes I feel discarded
I wish that I was good enough
then I'd know that I am not alone

Death is policeman
Death is the priest
Death is the stereo
Death is a TV
Death is the Tarot
Death is an angel and
Death is our God
killing us all

she puts the seeds in me
plant this dying tree
she's a burning string
and I'm just the ashes

she put the seeds in me
plant this dying tree
she's a burning string
and I'm just the ashes


.muffin.
.such.beauty
is.wasted.
Today I woke up late... which means: I actually slept!! Being sick, I find it hard to sleep at all... I always roll around and can never rest, but I slept and slept and it was quite refreshing. Once I was up (around Noon I suppose), I turned on Final Fantasy 5 and played for a few hours actually, until about the time Emily got home (which was later than normal since she had an appointment) and I'm getting far into the game now... I think I might be reaching the final stretch of the game. I'm aquiring some of the ultimate spells and stuff now and it's all coming together and I love it! It's definitley going to be one of my favorite Final Fantasys once I've competed it, unless the ending goes way downhill... but I just don't really see that happening. The only bad part of the game is some of the naming.. I mean, the villians name is X-Death.. couldn't they have come up with an actual name for him? Like Steve or something.. I dunno, it just bugs me.. it's not a name, it sounds like a spell or something. but really, this is the first Final Fantasy that really tells a great story, so I guess I can forgive them, since it was a great attempt anyway, and maybe itw as a translation error or something.. .maybe the guys at Square of America are just fucking idiots. My characters are starting to master a few jobs which is great, and is letting me expand into other skills as well... It's fun finding all the hidden things and exploring and figuring things out... I haven't used a single FAQ the entire play through of the game, which is great fun.

As for what I'll be doing for the rest of the night... probably sitting; lots of sitting.

Apparently JJ no longer wants to be my friend sadly, apparently because I'm not to be trusted, most likely because of my tendancy of having drunken orgys at parties, which obviously happens almost on a daily basis; now perhaps I shouldn't put words into her mouth, but since she has absoloutly no arguements to backup her hatred or claims, I guess it's all I can do. No, instead of her actually explaining herself with logic, or.. oh I don't know, ANY SENSE AT ALL, she just insulted me and then blocked me on MSN, which is not only amusing and childish, but it's rather annoying; being hated for something I didn't do; something EVERYONE IN EXISTENCE EXCEPT HER (who has absoloutly nothing to base her opinions on, since she is in no way part of anything that was said or talked about) it just rubs me the wrong way when someones complete and total ignorance takes my friend away. Oh well, I guess she never really wanted to be my friend in the first place if she would let a rumor, which amusingly enough was prooven to be a FALSE rumor a few minutes after it was discovered, wreck our friendship. Oh well.. it seems most everyone who says things to you, like I love you, and we'll be friends forever, are just completely full of shit these days.. .it saddens me.

Agh, I really don't want to be sick anymore. Remember kids, go fuck yourself.

1266 words

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