August 03, 2004 4:52AM
Silence Before The Storm
Today consisted of waiting around, the entire day. I needed to give Ally her shoes and clothes back today, so I was going to take a bus but I realized they were running on holiday schedual, so it would take me a few hours to get there and back because of the shitty transit system, and I also had to pay my visa, which I didn't do, because I have no money. So anyway, I asked my sister if she could quickly drive me over to Allys for me to drop off the shit, and then take me to the bank because my Mom was willing to forward me my payment so I wouldn't get bad credit, but she said that she'd do it later in the day, so I said okay and waited around. and waited. and waited. aaand waited. and then she called me at 9pm, said she was feeling sick and that she wasn't going to drive me. So, since it was already so late and there were only two more buses running for the rest of the day, I was pretty pissed off. I mean... I don't care that she said no.. I don't care at ALL, it was only a matter of convenience.. I got pissed off because she waited until 9pm to tell me. I would've gone at Noon if I knew I wasn't getting a ride. I just wish people wouldn't lead you on like that.. it would be so much simpler if they just said yes or no instead of that bullshit 'maybe' crap. Fucked up my entire day... Like.. hoenstly, there is NO reason to be nervous to say no, thats WHY people ask, to hear yes or no, if the answer is NO, at least I have time to make new plans and figure stuff out, but if people just lie, like they always do, than it just fucks up any chance you have of making new plans... I was really pissed when I brought over Allys crap.. VERY pissed off.. you can ask Emily about that.. grr.. just ask her how crappy I've been lately, how I've snapped and been mean to everyone.Owen, Sarah and Ian came over during the day while I was waiting, to just hang out and borrow some of my awesome games. Well.. originally the reason they came over was because Sarah asked if she could borrow Alice from me, and I said yes, because as I mentioned before, Sarah rocks. So when they came over, we were just looking and talking about some of my games, and since I know Ian has a deep passion for the breath of fire SNES games, I let him borrow 1 and 2. Owen had an orgasm when he saw my Max Payne 2 (one of the best PC games ever) so I let him borrow that, reluctantly, as it IS one of my prized possesions, but I'll check up on it in a month to see if it's just sitting around his room.. if it is, I'll take it back. I also let Ian borrow Sacrifice, a game I got for free with my last video card, which I've never played, and I also lent Owen my GBA.. not my SP, but the old GBA I never ever use. Sarah also wanted to give the Final Fantasy series a try, so I let her borrow Final Fantasy Origins, the PS1 remake of FF1 and 2, which may not be the best starting point for a new comer, but hell, it IS the beginning. So anyway, it was really great to hang out with them for a bit, even though they didn't stay long (which is fine of course, nothings worse than awkward sitting around) and here are a few pictures, all of which I'm sure they don't want me to post, as they were candid shots pretty much... but here ya go:
Left: Ian - Rock Paper Scissors world champion. Right: Owen! 1/4 of my boys, my bitch and life long heteralsexual life mate.
Left: Sarah - This is a very bad shot.. too far away. She gets cooler by the second. Right: This is my Emma of course! She's playing Final Fantasy 6
with my character building. At least two characters are profecient with a dress sphere, so that way if one falls or has to play another role, I won't be screwed. Also this time through, I'm trying to use Paine as more than just a warrior.. hehehe.. I'm actually building up some of her Theif skills, as well as using her as an occasional gunner if the situation calls for it. Yuna is also gaining more Black Mage skills than last time, and I'm making sure Rikku isn't far behind in both the black mage area as well as the Songstress sphere, so that both can be used to silence or darkness an enemy, and the other kill it with magic. I'm definitley going to try to use some of the jobs and abilities that I just ignored last time through, like Trainer for instance... I'm not sure why, but I never ever used this sphere.. maybe once.. but maybe I'll give it a good chance this time, build it up a bit and see if I like the results.. also, Lady Luck is another I never used.. might be worth a shot.. it's fun coming up with strategies about which characters should work on learning which spheres, and which should just be left alone, and finding and using new Garment Grids and stuff... *giggle* right about now, I've just lost about 90% of my audience with my mindless rambling about FFX-2.. so I guess I should stop... basically what I'm trying to say, is that it's a FUN, fast paced game, with hidden strategic value, as well as humour, the sense of accomplishment and tons of other great stuff.You can totally tell that Emily has been completely sucked into Final Fantasy 6. When she first started, I remember her plainly stating that she had no connection to the characters.. and I remember thinking to myself, " That won't last...".. and I was right! She's completely stopped playing Wind Waker, stopped playing Zuma.. stopped asking me lots of questions even! She pretty much does her own thing. She has yet to ask me which espers I think she should equip, or if there are specific weapons and armors she should use and other things like that... I just throw in the quick tip here and there, if notice something she can take advantage of... such as finding the Atma Weapon, or Genji Glove, two of the greatest and most useful items in the game.. I'm sure they would have been left behind if I hadn't said anything, but she's not to blame, as I remember leaving them behind the first few times I played through the game as well.. I just no the game so well now, that I know where all the treasure is, what's inside which chests... it's funny.. just ask Emily. She thinks I'm the biggest loser EVER, but I think it turns her on.. haha.. just kidding. But anyway, she's doing great in the game, and I'm really glad to see her getting sucked in, as it really is one of the greatest stories told in our time.. and if you weren't sucked into it, you'd probably just see it as a game, and not an epic tale of romance, humanity, trust, love and hate. I've actually started my own game in an attempt to create the PERFECT characters... level 99 with all characters, all with perfectly boosted stats (thanks to LVL bonuses on my favorite espers) and with all the secrets. I did that on the SNES version and it took me about 40, and since the PS1 version of it has such HORRIBLE loading times, I could expect the time to much higher this time through, for no other reason than that.
On a horrible side note, something really has gone wrong with me... I can't pin point it yet.. and I'm not sure if it'll go away, but I don't like it. I missed one pill.. last night.. but these last few days have been extra hard (which I quickly mentioned when I went over the bar in my last entry).. but I really have come pretty close to just giving up everything.. I've felt a lot of stress, a lot of hate from a lot of different people.. I've felt different.. I've snapped at almost everything, treated specific people badly, have been treated by specific people badly.. realized a few things about people I never thought I could realize more things about... felt distant, abandoned, bewildered.. unaware of my existence... I guess things aren't going very well in my mind.. stability wise. I feel sorry for Emily, cause she has to put up with me being a bitch ALL THE TIME.. hopefully it'll pass and she won't have to put up with it for long.
Well my sleeping pills have totally kicked in and I'm having a hard time coming up with anything more to talk about, so I guess that's my cue to end this and go to sleep. Hmm.. I'll try to update again tomorrow.. and I'm going to have to Archive Julys posts at some point, but as you all clearly know by now, I'm a lazy, lazy bastard... goodnight everyone. sweet dreams.
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Timeline
- I lived with Ben on Cartier
- I was with Emily
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