Excessive

Mark's home! He showed up around 1pm yesterday (at the window) and we hung out for a bit, listened to music and talked, and eventually Ally and Darcy came over and we spent the afternoon and evening playing games, listening to music and having fun. We played a bunch of Guitar Hero 2, a bunch of Burnout Revenge crash parties, some Virtua Fighter 4, some Soul Calibur 2 and Darcy and I ended the night on a standing play of Boston's More Than A Feeling (Guitar Hero 1). We also had supper and watched a random episode of The Office, and it was enjoyable.

The internet cut out for a while an hour or so ago... no idea why, don't really wanna know, but everything seems to be working now, but god knows things can go wrong. So, if you mysteriously don't hear from me for awhile, you all know what happened.

Mark comes home (or is he visiting?) tomorrow after being in Banff for 8 months? I don't remember, some long ass number I'm sure. I'm pretty sure, he, myself, Michelle, Ally and Darcy are all just hanging out here at my place, playing Guitar Hero and whatever else, and I'm fairy certain we're all super poor so there's probably going to be no drinking going on, which is fine. It should be a fun day, and I'm looking forward to it.

It seems that Mark is going to be living at my place while he's in London which is cool. It'll take awhile to get used to but I think it'll be fun. He can stay as long as he wants (so come June 10th, he's welcome to continue staying with me). We still haven't had a chance to talk about details or any of that, only very briefly through email, but he said he's really easy to live with because he's had a room mate for the entire time in Banff, which is true, but he also got his room mate kicked off the mountain for destroying stuff haha.

I've been sleeping in really late, and having a lot of trouble falling asleep before the sun comes up, but I try. I lay there and listen to podcasts, or play Pokemon, and I just never get tired or comfortable or anything, I just keep rolling over and rolling over and moving my pillow and blah, nothing works and I'm not going back to sleeping pills. None of my sleeping habits ever last for long though, so I'm sure in a week or two my sleep will be completely different and I'll probably be complaining that I don't sleep in enough.

Start off with the negative or the positive? It's a tough choice; I usually start out with the negative to just get it out of the way, so might as well stick to that habit.

This week has been a pretty rough week as far as feeling good goes. I'm not even sure what it is specifically, but I feel very tired all the time, very lazy and lethargic, like I could go to sleep at any time, and that I don't care about anything, and I have no energy to do anything, it's weird, and I honestly hope it goes away. I always seem to fall into this rut and then snap out of it eventually and I end up cleaning something huge or something like that. I will be doing the dishes today, as soon as I finish writing this, and I plan on doing the litter and vacuuming, but beyond that all I really want to do is lay in bed. Perhaps it's the fact that I have no tv to look forward to, no filler tv (like Friends) to watch, so I'm really not left with much to do.

Ally is keeping busy today, and I should be taking a page from her book! HAH! That sounds dirty... She's cleaning and organizing and rearranging, and being energetic and accomplishing things, I'm proud! But it makes me feel even more lazy haha.

I doubt the weather helps much... it's cool and dark, where it looks like it's going to rain but never does. It's really difficult to get up enough energy to do anything when it's not bright and sunny outside. Hopefully it'll storm and it'll relax me so I don't feel so nervous all the time, and then it becomes sunny and I'll want to do lots of things and clean and organize.

There's this dude in my apartment building that had previously gone door to door to try and sell some membership to a different hydro provider, and the first time he came, he came in to talk to me about it or whatever and noticed I had a lot of games, so we started talking about games and stuff, and he said that we should get together sometime to play stuff (yeah...). It was pretty cool to know that there was at least one relatively cool person living in this dump. He came back a month later to follow up on that hydro crap and we talked for like five minutes and that was that.

I woke up with somewhat of a dry throat, a discomfort in my back and not a feeling of being rested. I had so much trouble falling asleep last night that I ended up listening through three episodes of the GFW Radio podcast, and playing Pokemon two different times. It really sucked, and I'm pretty tired now because of that, but god knows I won't be able to sleep come tonight.

Today's Retronauts was all about StarCraft, and while they didn't have all the names right and stuff, it was still fun to listen to. It really made me realize how above average I was at the game, because these are a group of professional people who play games for a living and they barely know anything important about the game! It's pretty cool.

I never got back to sleep this morning/afternoon... I said I was going to nap but I laid down for about 30 seconds before getting back up, and before I knew it was time to go catch my bus. I had to leave a bit early because I wanted to catch the bus in front of big bee cause my street was being worked on, so the bus wasn't running the normal route. I didn't feel like looking for the new temporary stop, so I just walked to where I knew there was one.

It's a Tidus Anniversary!

On this day in 2003, four years ago, I became the new owner, guardian.. whatever, of a one Tidus Taboo O.B. Ganges Benji Grieve Jr.

I was talking to my Sister yesterday evening around 8:30pm and I jokingly told her to drive me to get pizza cause I didn't want to walk, and she ended up driving over and taking me grocery shopping at the Loblaws Superstore, and then stopping at Pizza Pizza on the way home. We got most of the groceries we needed, and I just need to go to Valuemart for a couple of things I know they'll have, like buns and wraps.

I feel pretty weird today; I feel pretty shitty, or empty, or filled with static, or anxious... I feel something. I always feel like death when I think about the future, and how uncertain it all is, and how much trouble I'm in.

It smells like paint, and this might be because they painted my door. I had to lock the cats in the bedroom so that they could fill my apartment with the smell of wet paint! Hoorray!

For a lot of today I played God of War and made some progress. I got past where I was stuck and got quite a bit farther and until I got stuck in another room and turned it off in more frustration. I kind of wish that every single play session didn't end with me screaming and that I actually just stopped because a lot of time had gone by. I played a little bit of Fable as well, but I keep forgetting that the game isn't that amazing, and I find that I get bored after five minutes.