Excessive

I woke up on time this morning, although I don't quite remember. The morning is kind of a haze at this point, and I don't specifically remember much of anything up until about two hours ago, and I think my level of tiredness has something to do with that, but let's see what I can do.

I'm tired and should be asleep, but I'm not... instead I'm sitting at my computer with a snack and starting to write an entry. The reason - I'm sure you're asking - is because I haven't actually had a chance to sit and do anything of my choosing yet today, and that can be an unsettling feeling. I'm trying my very best to relax right now, but I know that I have limited time, so... I'm really trying to appreciate this fifteen minutes or so.

Feeling down in the dumps.

I'm extra tired and can't bring myself to write a bunch but I can throw down an overview before I head to bed.

I've been working a lot extra at work lately, average shift is 9.75 hours, and last four days I've worked 45 hours or something, and my body is sore, my mind is aching for some relaxation, and I'm feeling on the up.

Last night I proposed to Bekki and she said yes. We're getting married in May.

I just worked 12 hours and can't write but I'm truly excited inside. I will write all about it tomorrow, I promise.

Alone I break. Renounced.

I haven't been doing well recently, and it seems like the only time I write is when I feel this way, or at least it seems all my entries start with the same sentence. How many times do I have to complain about the same thing before it stops holding any meaning?

Terrible day, pretty much. I kinda hate work now, don't feel that comfortable there anymore. I didn't eat anything today besides a bagel at 5:20am and a bowl of chips five minutes ago. I feel like shit, feel worthless, feel like a joke.

I'm taking a sleeping pill and pretending I don't exist now.

It was the Boardwalk Empire season three finale tonight, which is why I didn't write. I figure that's a good reason to not write, considering it's so good. Epic sniper scenes... so... fucking... good.

I'd like to make a random monthly resolution, as New Year's is still a month away, but I'd like to get back to writing every night, or as often as possible. Perhaps it will aid with de-stressing, or... help in some other unexpected way. I feel angry, frustrated, tired, and overwhelmed all the time, and perhaps organizing my thoughts more often, writing it out and getting it into words will help me... well, it's not like I've been doing it for ten years for no reason, it's just been so busy lately, or feels so busy lately that I haven't felt like I've had time to do anything, but that's not going to change any time soon, and you can't continue to blame all your problems and issues on being 'busy'.