Writing Photography Rambling
I woke up today and it seemed like the day, the morning that greeted me, was some kind of universal apology. It made me think that if a God existed, this was him saying sorry to me.
It's been raining all day... it's funny, because it's kind of mirrored how I've felt, and it never rains all day, but it's been pouring rain, non-stop, all day. I've felt a wide range of things today, from bad to worse, to bad again, and it's even been impossible to enjoy the rain, something that I usually love.
In the morning I fled
Left a note and it read
Someday you will be loved.
I cannot pretend that I felt any regret
Cause each broken heart will eventually mend
As the blood runs red down the needle and thread
Someday you will be loved
You'll be loved you'll be loved
Like you never have known
The memories of me
Will seem more like bad dreams
Just a series of blurs
Like I never occurred
Someday you will be loved
You may feel alone when you're falling asleep
And everytime tears roll down your cheeks
But I know your heart belongs to someone you've yet to meet
Someday you will be loved
My hands hurt and my arms hurt and my throat hurts.
Yesterday was a long, interesting day. I worked for twelve hours and then went out right after work, a tiring experience to say the least.
Today was a day off... it's funny because that's all I've really got to say because I just didn't do anything today beyond tidy up a bit. You would think that finally having a full day off after two weeks of unimaginable amounts of school and work, I would use that time to do things I enjoy, but sadly time and my brain didn't line up and I was left pretty useless today.
So I already kinda wrote about the first half of today, so it doesn't really leave me much to write about, thanks self, you are a dick sir.
I really didn't want to go to work today... I really didn't. I felt very disheartened taking the bus to work today, I was just in a bad mood, felt like shit. When I arrived at work, the mood didn't go away, and I was quiet and somewhat detatched. I saw this coming, I felt it coming... maybe it's related to work and school, but probably not, this happens a lot, all the time, constantly, and still gets me. Suppose I shouldn't fight it and try my best to be logical.
I normally don't write during the day, it feels weird and I'm in a different state of mind, but I didn't write yesterday and I feel like I should before I forget, as you know... everyone would be really upset if I didn't! Right?
I didn't mean for this to be.
I feel like I'm slipping with things... not things, just everything. Things. It's not that bad I guess, like, nothing I can't handle for right now, but I think today was a good day; I think that today I had a moment of clarity and came through for myself, and while this lucidity could last for a day, could last two, it could end before I go to sleep, but taking advantage of it is key to my survival.