Excessive

This weekend has been amazing... I spent nearly the entire thing with Vanesa, and Friday with her and Nick, and Saturday with her and Brit. I had such a good time, I can't really think of words adequate enough to describe it. The experience was so surreal, than when they left, I had to remind myself that it was real. I felt so good and smiled so much... it didn't really matter what went on or what was talked about, nothing could make me feel down or upset, I just felt happy, and for once in the longest time I didn't feel numb. I'm not doing a good job of putting it into words... but oh well.

The crappy part (and of course there is one) is that now that I'm alone again, and no one is here to make me forget about anything and everything... I start thinking about things... that bring me down. About where I stand in life, what I mean to everyone... people in general iare so fake all the time that I question intentions and motivations. I wonder if I mean anything to anyone, I wonder if I'm likable or interesting; I worry about a lot of things I guess... things should just be cut and clear, so I wouldn't worry.. that'd be nice. I guess I just not get caught up in things...

romanticism aside...

I could write a bunch more about my new friends, and how I feel, and what I'm worried about... but I'm bored of writing, and I don't want to keep whining, simply because I hate reading it, so I'm sure you all do to. If you want to know what the fuck is going on with my head, just ask me and I'll tell you privately.

I start work tomorrow at 3:45pm.. so.. I guess I'll let you know how it went when I get home... I'm just not looking forward to sleeping alone all week :(

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