Excessive

So I guess my vacation is over now, it's officially Saturday and I have to work.

As I mentioned earlier in the day, today was almost a complete waste, a complete throw away, my brain kind of melted, I just stopped functioning. While most days this week I've felt awake, and happy, and I would alternate between coding and playing world of warcraft, tv, and having nice meals, today I just... broke.

I spent basically the entire day on the couch, under three blankets and with a pillow, and just kind of existed there, not really awake, not really feeling anything. When I did feel, I felt anxious, and weird, I could tell something was wrong but couldn't snap myself out of it. I tried to do a few things to help but couldn't really get into it.

From about 10am to like, 8pm, I just laid on the couch... near the end of the day I kind of tried to write to spark some creativeness in myself but couldn't get too much out, but I watched The Promise: The Making of The Darkness on the Edge of Town, a Bruce Springsteen documentary that I had watched once before, but it was fun/interesting to watch again... such good music, so neat to see behind the scenes and stuff.

When Michelle got home we watched American History X... not the most warm and happy movie, but a powerful movie, and it was good to watch it, as it had been a few years since I had seen it.

After the movie, I tried again to program a bit, a did a few tiny methods on my user class, which is simply a small tiny little part of what will eventually be a larger project.

After that, I ran a bath, had a real quick bath... I generally expect to always have longer baths but sometimes I get in and get really restless, can't relax or let the water relax me and I just get out earlier than I really should.

Once I was out of the bath, I moved my laptop into the living room, took a sleeping pill and put on Jimmy Fallon, which I'm still watching now. I'm not really feeling the pill yet but I will soon I'm sure.

Not really looking forward to work tomorrow but it might be an easy day if all goes well, which will be nice to be eased back into the real world. I'll probably find something to watch after Jimmy and then go to bed after that.

Goodnight all!

Ps. It's raining really hard outside and I can hear it loudly on the roof. It's comforting sound, and it feels like it's a sign that perhaps spring is on it's way. I can't wait to keep windows open 24/7 and move the litter back into the mudroom and keep the door open. Ah, that will boost my spirits a little bit no matter what.

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