Excessive

How am I feeling... it's an interesting question. I'm feeling strange, coming down for a night of drinking. I feel tired, and sore, and off. I dislike the feeling of vulnerability, the feeling of opening yourself up to be laughed at, or criticized, or simply putting yourself in a position to feel like shit at some point in the future. I feel like I want to retreat, to run and hide somewhere safe, to feel safe... secure and warm. I feel worried and nervous, a guest in my own home, a visitor in my body, what am I doing here? Where did my safety go?

Where did my ability to write go? My creative passion... my passion in general.

In all honesty, considering everything, I'm doing okay. I'm doing much better than a week ago when I felt as though my entire life was coming to an end... twice, no less, and now while I do feel off, I'm not filled with an overwhelming feeling of hopelessness, only dread, nervousness, anxiety and a strangely intense fear.

Perhaps it'll fade away... if there is one consistency in my life, it's that things fade away... disappear.

Sometimes, you want to just forget who you are all together.

205 words