Excessive

It's disappointing how predictable certain aspects of my life are, well... certain aspects of my behavior and/or personality. Small triggers can shift moods, can completely change perspective and that sinking feel returns to the pit of my stomach, all too familiar and common.

I mean, it's safe to say that the last three or four weeks have been some of the darkest and lowest for me in a long time, and things have been much better lately (although still lacking routine and stability), I don't forget easily how effortless it is to fall back into that hole.

My attempt to avoid it; my attempt to stay happy is writing this. Sitting down to write this all out, to get it out of my system before it infects my mind. Push it away, push it down, get it out... you know.

The trigger this time was a text from someone, someone who's text's generally make me feel this way. Stirs up stuff, stirs up too much stuff. Also, I feel sick, and my 360 isn't working 100% of the time, so it leads to an uncomfortable day. I'm sure I'll write a real entry tonight.. I just needed this to get through the day.

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