Excessive

I'd like to make a random monthly resolution, as New Year's is still a month away, but I'd like to get back to writing every night, or as often as possible. Perhaps it will aid with de-stressing, or... help in some other unexpected way. I feel angry, frustrated, tired, and overwhelmed all the time, and perhaps organizing my thoughts more often, writing it out and getting it into words will help me... well, it's not like I've been doing it for ten years for no reason, it's just been so busy lately, or feels so busy lately that I haven't felt like I've had time to do anything, but that's not going to change any time soon, and you can't continue to blame all your problems and issues on being 'busy'.

My days off seem to be months apart, when in reality they're usually spread out as far as possible. I'd love for two days off in a row, to really get that feeling of having time to do something, as single days off seem to fly by, leaving a feeling of being ripped off, or regret, or some other negative feeling I can't quite put my finger on. I sit here at the end of the day looking back, and while I really, really enjoyed my time playing Disgaea 4 and Max Payne 3, I literally only played those two games, did the laundry and had two meals, and that was my entire day. It's not too late to do anything, and I need to go to sleep so I can get up for work tomorrow, and it just feels so stupid. It feels like no time to truly relax, no time to get deep into anything meaningful or accomplish anything worth accomplishing.

The festive season at work begins this week, and things are either going to get significantly worse, or stay the same, but I can't imagine anything getting better. I will have longer shifts, and less time at home, I will be more tired than ever, and you know, that's fun. Due to the nature of the festive buffets however, work may be easier, because I'll be doing the same things each day, which makes it easy for me, because if there is one thing I excel at, it's routine. Give me a list of stuff to do and I can kick the shit out of it, and that's what the entire month will be basically. It could go very well, or it could go badly and unorganized, and that result will dictate how I feel and such.

That's enough about work though...

At home I've been trying my best to find time to play some games, as it's something that I obviously love a great deal, but haven't been doing as much do to all the insane shit that's been happening for the last two months or more, and even before that I was spending the majority of my free time reading instead of other hobbies, so it's nice to get back to some games now that things have settled down at home a bit.

I've been playing through Disgaea 4 after putting it down for almost a year, and it's the type of game you can put down and come back to whenever you want, but it's so easy to get sucked into that I've been spending most of my game time playing it instead of other games. It's fun, the story is terrible (haven't enjoyed a story in Disgaea since the original) but the addictive gameplay is pretty satisfying. I've also been playing Max Payne 3, which took a little while to get used to it's controls, but now I'm on the fifth chapter and feel a lot more comfortable with playing the game. The story is engaging and fun, and the gun-play is fun. Max Payne 2 is one of my favorite games of all time, so I was hoping the third would be as good, and so far it's very fun, so I'm excited to continue to play through it.

Tomorrow is the first Festive Brunch of the season and I work from 7am to 4pm I believe. I have no idea what it's going to be like, and I just have to go in with the thought of. "I will be leaving in nine hours so who cares what happens." That's a good thing to think right? I can come home and have dinner and play a game and it doesn't matter what happened at work.

Oh yeah, and I paid tuition today, so that can only mean two things... school is coming very shortly, and I'm even more stressed out about my insurmountable debt! Hurrah.

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