Excessive

I'm tired and should be asleep, but I'm not... instead I'm sitting at my computer with a snack and starting to write an entry. The reason - I'm sure you're asking - is because I haven't actually had a chance to sit and do anything of my choosing yet today, and that can be an unsettling feeling. I'm trying my very best to relax right now, but I know that I have limited time, so... I'm really trying to appreciate this fifteen minutes or so.

This morning... well, I suppose the story begins last night - I took a Xanax because I was having some anxiety issues and couldn't sleep... couldn't even lay down with my eyes closed, I was kind of freaking out and it was really effecting my ability to be calm, so I decided to take a pill at like 10pm, and figured it would lull me to sleep but wouldn't have a lasting effect like taking a sleeping pill would. However, this morning, I slept right through my alarm (or turned it off without quite waking up) and had to leave for work without breakfast, coffee, or without actually waking up at all.

It lead to a pretty shitty, grumpy day, and I was kinda pissed off with how much there was to do, but I don't really know what else to expect, because we don't have the staff to do the type of stuff that's expected. There is myself in for breakfast and getting the festive lunch out, then Shawn and Kristian to get the dinner stuff out, but then no one in to get the next day's lunch ready, so when I come back in the next day, nothing is done for lunch and it's almost too much for me to do in time, which leads to frustration.

I've been working extremely long days, and I'll almost hit 100 hours this pay period, which is... excessive, to say the least. I'm tired, but... I don't know, could be worse. I understand it's good to have a job, and I understand that you have to work to make money, but a little sympathy or empathy could go a long way.

I should wrap this up and figure out how I'm going to sleep. When I don't get a chance to play a game or read a book or even watch a tv show, I tend to be pretty jittery, unable to sleep or whatever. Ah well... no pills tonight, and wake up and have some breakfast in the morning.

Oh, and I will write about the engagement soon, I swear. I know I always say that, but I just want it to be when I'm not rushed.

Basically, I just love Bekki more than life, and want to grow old with her and start a family and I just wanted to put action behind my words, so this is a step in that direction. Oh, and also, we've started a thirty day challenge to stay healthy, so we'll see how that goes ;)

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