Excessive

Time has gone by and I haven't sat down to write, and that's basically because my entire life is different now. I no longer sit on the living room floor, watch endless movies and need things to use up my spare time. I have no time to do anything extra anymore, and that's a good thing, in a way, and so writing doesn't usually make the list, although I wish it did, there are other, more important things that usually come first.

I do have a lot to cover, which is a bit overwhelming, so I really should take it step by step.

December 24, 2012

Christmas Eve didn't exist this year, because it was overwritten by a much more important and special occasion, which is Bekki's birthday. Generally every year, for the last few years, has been the same, due to work. Christmas Eve was our family's gift exchange, Christmas day was spent working, and Boxing day was spent shopping and then having a family dinner, but due to a different work schedule and a wonderful girl's birthday, plans were switched around this year, and it was actually pretty awesome... but it led to being very busy, so there was very little time to actually record what was happening, which is regretful, but I can quickly go through the basic stuff.

Bekki's birthday was planned by myself and my Mom, having the family over for a dinner, with birthday cake and gifts and all the bells and whistles, celebrating Bekki's birthday. I changed around what I was going to be cooking, because originally I was going to cook pork tenderloin for Christmas, but it's one of Bekki's favorite meals, so I decided to switch it around, make that for her birthday and then have a more traditional turkey dinner for Christmas.

The family came over after we were done work at 12pm... we sat around and ate some lunch (some chilli I had made) and talked a bunch. Eventually everyone played scatergories and moved to the living room and I worked a bit on getting dinner ready, with various hiccups along the way (like needing to go out and buy wine, and forgetting to pull the pork out the freezer and having to go to the store to buy some fresh pork). Dinner went well and we all had some of the mocha chiffon cake for dessert, drinking wine and bailey's coffee... a very relaxing, fun and enjoyable night. I'm pretty sure Bekki had a great time, and everyone treated it as a non-Christmas related event, and that was important to me, because I wanted the day to be special for Bekki, super-special.

December 25, 2012

Christmas was similar to the day before, but the family came over a few hours later, giving me a bit more time to prepare and get ready. For Christmas we did pretty much the same stuff, but before dinner we all sat down and did the gift exchange, which is awesome. Everyone enjoyed their gifts, and everyone had a lot of fun. My favorite gifts from each person is... my coat from Tiptop Tailors from Bekki, my books from my Mom and some art from my Sister. Everyone did pretty good, a lot of gifts were exchanged and everyone seemed happy. I was pretty proud of the dishes I got my Mom, I think the design suited her very well, and I'm glad to hear that she likes them.

Overall I had a great Christmas this year, and have never felt more like a family, more complete, more safe and secure. I fear nothing when I'm with Bekki. I don't fear her leaving me, or hating me or getting sick of me. It's so nice to no longer have those doubts, or those fears. We have a house - a home - and a family, and it's amazing.

December 26, 2012

Boxing day... as per tradition, I woke up at 5:15am and got ready to go out boxing day shopping. Ben had contacted me a few days earlier, expressing interest in meeting up to do our shopping, so Bekki and I were meeting him at 6am at Futureshop, so we were up and out to get there... roughly... on time.

It was pretty busy, but just as busy as expected, and I spent about $200 or so, picking up a shitload of games and about three or four movies. Uncharted 3, Final Fantasy XIII-2, Sleeping Dogs, Fallout: New Vegas, Epic Mickey 2, Call of Duty: MW3, Medal of Honor: Warfighter... there may be more.

After Best Buy and Futureshop, Ben parted ways with us and Bekki and I headed over to Whiteoaks to exchange my coat (the one she got me was too big). It took a long as time of searched to find a coat that fit me (slim fit is what I was looking for) and after getting discouraged and kind of sad, I found a random coat, the last of it's kind, a small, exactly the style I wanted, and it was fucking amazing... and on top of all that, it was cheaper than the original one, so I got a scarf too. I love my coat... love it. I love it so much. From there, we went to Le Chateu Men, and shopped for a suit, and tried a few things on, but my anxiety overcame me and I had to get out. I was overwhelmed with embarrassment just for not feeling like myself, and I got all sweaty and it feels like a fight or flight situation, where I need to flee for my life. We left the store, walked around more, went back to Tiptop Tailors to be talked to by some rude retarded dude, and then I had calmed down, and we went back, and ended up putting together an entire outfit for me (minus the shoes) and I now have a suit for the wedding, which I'm super excited about.

After all the shopping, we got out of there and got home. I took a xanax and we headed out to the country to go to Bekki's family's Christmas lunch. It's her grandparents, aunts and uncles and cousins, no parents. Overall the visit was fine, I was a bit nervous and not sure what to say, but no one really talked to me. The food was okay, although being served cold ham as if it were a hot dish was kind of weird, since I've never heard of cold ham (besides for sandwhiches) before, but the best part was the desserts. I was soooo groggy from the xanax that it was pretty brutal, and before long we were on our way home.

That's it.

So that's the holidays. I worked six hour shifts over Christmas Eve and Christmas, but it was alright. Since then we've continued to be busy. I had one more day off after boxing day (speaking of, since we were so busy on boxing day, it didn't really feel like a day off, so it only really felt like I had one day off this entire holiday week), and I tried my best to relax and play some games. We've kept busy taking care of the dog, working, Bekki had some girlfriends over to celebrate her birthday with movies and a bottle of wine. Things have been busy... and it'll probably continue to be busy. School starts in a week, our dog is becoming more difficult to control, and I joined a gym with Bekki.

Wait what?

Yeah, Bekki has always been going to the gym, at least once a week, usually more. It always kind sucked for me because she would spend a lot of time there and it felt separate from me, and I felt lonely and left out, so I don't know how the idea came up, but we decided to use her free pass and she would bring me to good life with her and show me how to work out and we'd spend time together. It was fun, I enjoyed the time with her, and her leading me and teaching me, and the idea of being more healthy or active was interesting to me, so we decided to get a membership, so I am now an official member of a gym, which I never thought would happen, but it's something we'll do together a lot I think, and I'm excited to continue to experience it with her. I'm pretty sore right now, but in a good way, and I'm looking forward to going again soon.

I worked today, bussed home, had spaghetti for dinner, beat Call of Duty: World at War (a terrible game) and then had a luke-warm bath. I decided to write tonight instead of play a game, just because I really wanted to catch up with stuff. Tomorrow I work from 6am to 3pm, to get the next day ready, which is New Year's Day brunch, and I work Tuesday as well, 6 - 2, and then I have three days off, which is going to be awesome I think.

Worth noting is that I think Marle is sick... she's not really eating or drinking, rarely goes down to the bathroom, and... she's super skinny, and throws up bile. I'm pretty fucking scared, but haven't had time to bring her to a vet, or decided if I should yet. She purrs and is happy, but... I can tell something is wrong. I just don't want to bring her there and have them tell me they need to put her down right away and that'll be the last time I ever get to see her.

Amerh.

That's that... work, work, days off, weekend, school starts.

Super happy with Bekki... planning a wedding, planning budgets and futures... and... yup... I'll try to write more. End of the year writing will be coming for sure, so look forward to that no one!

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