Excessive

Today wasn't the best day for me, and while it personally feels - right at this moment - like I've felt like this for as long as I can remember, I know that I felt good yesterday for a bit, and I know it wasn't this bad, but right now, right at this moment, I feel helpless, sad and most importantly, frustrated.

I was supposed to have my first two days off in a row for months and months, but late last night I got a text asking me to go in, which I felt like I couldn't say no.

I just feel like my life is happening around me and I have no say, control or sway in anything thats happening. I feel like a helpless puppet of my workplace... I feel like when I finally have time at home, I'm too tired to enjoy my time or do anything productive. I end up either napping, or having a headache, or maybe playing a game for one hour, and the day is over.

It leaves me laying in bed, feeling helpless, empty and sad.

I miss Bekki, and I miss long stretches of playing games... I miss staying up as late as I might want, at least once a week, I miss playing games with other real humans.

I want a social life, I want friends, I want an existence.

231 words