Excessive

I'm anxious, and it suddenly hit me, and I never know what to do, and I usually waste my day or feel stupid or regretful for how I act, what I waste and the time I give up just because I feel anxious. Deep breaths? Re-asses my plan for the day... figure out what triggered this feeling?

I had a really good day yesterday.

I woke up and I felt pretty refreshed - that's something that never happens. I enjoyed my breakfast and it made me feel awake and happy and alert, I didn't feel like shit, or have a dry throat, or sore sinuses, I just felt okay. I left for work and I didn't feel nervous, I just went to work and everything was okay. Work went by very quickly, and I didn't feel angry or overwhelmed.

I figure... maybe this is how normal people feel everyday? I wonder what that must be luck... things that could be accomplished. I tend to treat people like shit when I'm really anxious, and I'm anxious all the time, so I feel like a wretched person.

I'm still trying to figure out what steps I need to take to reset my brain when I enter one of these states. Lists help... I didn't have much planned for today, so I don't know why I feel so anxious, guilty, lazy... so weird. I think today is going pretty great in all honesty, I'm just now hyper-active and shakey and upset.

I wish it was a bit warmer... maybe I'll read some of my book... maybe I'll play WoW, maybe I'll start getting dinner prepared, maybe I'll do the laundry.

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