Excessive

For some reason I'm enjoying the process of watching bad movies, but not neccessarily enjoying watching bad movies. Does that make sense? Today's bad movie? Hackers.

Headaches

Lately I've been suffering from an abnormally high amount of headaches and migraines, so much so that it's generally an everyday occurance. Usually around lunch time at work, I start to feel dizzy, but not quite the dizzy that you think of when I say dizzy. No, it's a kind of unique feeling that only comes with migraines, but it's so close to dizzy that I can just use that word. Basically, I feel slightly sick to my stomach, slightly off balance, I feel sensitive to sight (not light) and I just feel.. wrong. These are usually the first warning signs that something is about to break in my head. Shortly after, I'll feel my sinus block and it's difficult to breath through my nose. I feel shakey, like I hadn't eaten in a while, but I eat so often as to avoid migraines, that there is no way that it's possible that I haven't eaten enough. Finally, by about the time lunch is half over, I generally have a full blown migraine. Intense pain all around my head, with the earlier symptoms as well, this usually leads to me trying to take medication, which leaves me still feeling pain, but then also feeling loopy, and it's difficult to concentrate, or enjoy my night, evening, dinner, etc, etc. As far as that goes, I'm pretty much in hell lately.

Down

I have my ups and downs but lately I've been having bad nights. I'm fine up until about evening time, where my mind tends to turn on itself. I don't have a very good way of describing it right now (you can probably look back through writing and find a million descriptions) but I feel totally lost, I unintentionally think of harming myself, or a desire to not exist. It's very hard to recover from that. I often feel very alone.

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