Excessive

im a moogle okay? get over it

I find days that I have something to look forward to after work go much faster than days I have an empty bed to motivate me. Today I looked forward to seeing Michelle after work, which made it go a bit faster, or at least made me happier and thus made work more tolerable. So as I was saying... the day seemed to go a bit faster than previous days, and Mark was gracious enough to purchase me lunch since I had NOTHING to eat except an applesauce and a pudding... I'll get to that.

I woke up late this morning... really late. I have to leave my apartment at 11:20am to catch my bus that gets me to work on time, and I woke up at 11:11am. I basically jumped out of bed, went to the computer to check how much I got paid (rent was due a few days ago... yeah.. i suck) and I didn't get paid enough money to make rent, so I had to call my Mom and beg her for enough money to pay my rent, which she gave me, but of course said she was disappointed and so on. So I throw on a sweatshirt over the clothes I slept in and ran out the door. The bus I was on broke down half way there, and then magically started working again after about ten minutes of just sitting there... and then I finally go to my Moms work where I just ran in, grabbed the envelope and ran out, back on the Oxford east and to work. So.. that's the story of my morning... I couldn't make any lunch or anything, so I was in a pretty shitty mood and was pretty certain my life would be ending soon. I paid rent when I got home from work today and it leaves me roughly $30 to pay my $300 in bills and food for the next two weeks! hazaa! weighing that with suicide it's strangly a close call.

Tomorrow night is The Birthday Massacre at the Dissent (which I've mentioned on here a hundered times now it feels) and it's the one year party type dealy thing. A bunch of people are going that I know and that makes me uncomfortable. I like it better when it's me and mark watching them build a magical arc on one side of the bar, and the four people there on the other. Intially Michelle and Jess were supposed to come over beforehand and then head over there with me, and then Sarah asked about meeting up before hand, and now like a hundered people all want to come over first and I'm like... I dunno.. now I have to care what my place looks like, and I have to actually DO something to entertain people. It's amazing how brave people are... I'd never have the guts to invite myself over to somewhere. Oh well... and what's worse is that even MORE people are inviting themselves over to sleep, which is okay I guess. I'll leave it up to them to figure out where to sleep... and no one better touch my shit or I'll flip yo. YO. Just the overall idea of the night seems to be molding into something I hadn't planned. and worst of all, Jess isn't going anymore, and I really wanted her to.

While Michelle and I were watching Clean Sweep, Linzie called me and asked if she could crash at my place and I said okay, and then I thought she meant she was coming over right away, so I waited and waited and no Linzie... so I got really worried that she was mugged or raped by a "Mark" type so I *69'd her and called her back and asked her and she wasn't coming over right awaaayy.. that she was going to call me when she's coming.. well... it's 2:00am on the nose right now and I'm fucking tired as hell, and I don't want to wait up anymore for a phone call. but I can't go to sleep because I'm damn sure the phone won't wake me up. So I'll just have to wait. I'll play Resident Evil 4 or F-Zero GX or something similarly fun.

I just recently took my night time pills (300g Lithium / 50mg Olazapine) and I immediatley got light headed and very sick to my stomache. Not sure why... but it's probably because I didn't eat very well today... just pizza for lunch/supper (or LINCHNER) and another slice for supper/snack (SUPACK). Either way... not much I can do about it really.. just felt like complaining.

So I guess I'll play a game or something while I wait for Linzie's call. Michelle is fast asleep (she has to get up at 5:30am) and I'm tired but I think a game will keep me occupied. I'm also helping Mark figure out why his new DVD Burner is shitting the fuck up.

Talk to you soon people!

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