Excessive

For the last few days I haven't felt very good. I've been feeling very down, sad, depressed, apprehensive and anxious. I think for the most part it can be blamed on the fact that I've been getting up later in the day and up later in the night... it's a subtle difference really, but it seems to have some effect on me, or at least I think it is. I feel low again, and apprehensive towards the future... sick of not getting a job from all the places I've applied, and now there aren't even any jobs to apply for. I feel distant from Emily... I've only talked to my Mom once in the last two weeks. I don't really know what's going on... is it all in my head? I don't know where to begin... There's so much I want, and I don't seem to be getting any of it.

I finished Super Mario Sunshine, and the final boss was disappointingly easy. It was overall a fun, but a little too frustrating. It attempted to recreate Mario 64, but added in a little too many 'luck' factors, where your skill had nothing to do with your success.

I also consider Luigi's Mansion finished, because the entire game was a breeze... I beat it in about two days.. it was disappointingly easy, and then comes the final boss. Even writers of GameFAQs claims that it's near impossible, and I've tried about ten times and have never even come close to winning, not even 1/8th of the way. It's so stupid and retarded that whomever programmed it, or concieved the idea, should be tracked down and kicked in the head.

I've just been so desperate to feel good/amused/happy that I've been playing pretty much 'every' single rom I own in an attempt to feel excited or happy... it hasn't really worked. Super Street Fighter 2, Super Bomberman, Super Mario RPG, Samauri Showdown, Super Mario World, Yoshi's Island, Family Fued and more and more and more and I just keep switching between them, but nothing changes. I seem stuck at the bottom of a hole.

Also in a search for inspiration and entertainment, I've been thinking up things to add to my website or add mini-sites and stuff. I created a test layout for a Super Metroid webpage, which I could use when I wanted... it actually turned out pretty much exactly how I wanted it, which I was happy with. Also, I've been thinking of making a section of the website dedicated to posting high scores from my favorite games, and even make it possible for people to send in their own, and I could list the top 3 or something scores.. games like Super Punch Out, Street Fighter, other Killer Instinct Scores, and any other games that come to mind. I've just got an ass load of ideas going through my head and I don't have the mind to capture them and then see them through to the end... so I can only grab them, take note of them, and be tortured by the fact that I can't seem to do anything about it.

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