October 25, 2003 3:30AM
It's So Painful
All I can think about is painful memories and horrible things that make me want to die. I don't know what to do, because it won't go away... I feel so sick because of it, I just want to wipe it all away... I hate myself so much, how weak I am.. how hopelessly pathetic...
I just want it to end... that's all. Maybe writing will help though...
Linzie came over early this morning and slept with me until really late... then we ate and I had to go to work. I then proceeded to work from 4:30 until 1am. I was really tired at the end, but ended up walking Linzie home at 2am. Now I'm here, wanting to go to sleep but scared to clear my mind, as it allows horrid things to enter. I want someone to talk to, but no one is alive. I want Linzie but she seems so far away. I just want something...
Tomorrow I am being social. More later...
166 words
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Timeline
- I lived with Ben on Cartier
- I was with Linzie
- I worked at Pizza Hut
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