September 29, 2002 11:17PM
This is for you Sarah.
The last two days mostly today have gone pretty well. Yesterday was great. Linzie and I rented a lot of movies: The Shining Being John Malchovich and End of Days. I also purchased K-Pax an awesome movie. So we watched End of Days last night and layed together and it was a very 'boyfriend-girlfriend' experience. It kept me calm and I enjoyed the time. We had A LOT of junk food. Chips candy and chocolate bars... never ending amounts!!
When she went home that night we got in an argument (which doesn't happen that often) that turned serious (at least for me) about some personal things (things I don't feel are appropriate for discussion here) and I got really upset over it. It hit me right at the same time as a mood swing (or may have triggered it I'm not sure) but anyway I was really shaken. I tried playing with Ben but I couldn't concentrate and I couldn't even think. My mind was racing and I couldn't grab onto a thought... anyway Linzie and I talked for hours that night... well more like I just rambled on about what I need/want from her especially when I get like this. Things like what comforts me and what makes it worse and tips on what she should do if I get depressed... when I think back on it it kinda makes me sick. It makes me look like a very needy annoying person which I guess I am because I DID do it... oh well you can't dwell on the past. So yesterday was great except for the night.
Today was good. I spent the whole day with Linzie even though she slept for a great length of time. I woke her up with (almost ready) supper and we watched the Shining. I played WarCraft III a lot won a lot watched Linzie play StarCraft and just spent a nice content feeling time with her.
Basically I'm still struggling with my mind but today and most of yesterday were a great break from the chaos.
Hopefully.. it'll be like that a lot.
When I was upset I wrote a poem... I don't like it and I hate how it represents nothing but self pity but it IS mine so I guess I should post it... I was barely thinking when I wrote it so.. yup. Here it is. CLICK HERE
I guess that's it for today! I've been listening to Matthew Good Band MSI and At The Drive-In as well as Sparta a lot lately so.. envy me!!
Bye.
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Timeline
- I lived with my Mom
- I was with Linzie
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