Excessive

I'm not sleeping; I should be sleeping but I'm not sleeping. There are a few reasons for this, but the biggest one I can think of is that I can't find my sleeping pills anywhere and that would be why I didn't take them, thus falling asleep at a somewhat normal time. You see, last weekend when Teresa came to sleep over, I gave her some sleeping pills, completely drunk off my ass, and I seem to have misplaced the bottle afterwards, and now, sober, I can't for the life of me find it anywhere; not in the closet, not in my room, not in the bathroom.. I need those fucking pills to sleep dammit!! My apartment isn't even messy or unorganized, so it's not like they're hiding somewhere.. gah!!! Anyway.. that would be why I'm awake right now and not sleeping, and I guess it makes me a bit sad to think about not having a normal sleep pattern does to me... I feel so helpless.

Lately Tony and I have been playing what we've dubbed the 'mapquest' and basically what it is, is us going through every map in the StarCraft maps directory and playing at least one game on each one, usually a 2v2, and then writing down the ones that really stand out as fun or unique maps. We have to play every map at least once, and we have to play it until we win.. so far I don't think we've lost yet, so we haven't had to enforce those rules.. but we've got through around 80 maps or something, which is awesome, and I have a list of about 10 amazing maps. After the mapquest is over, I'll put the list up on the site, or maybe a StarCraft specific mini-site.. I have a webdesigner friend who wanted to make one, and then other StarCraft players can look at it and know which maps are worth playing, so they don't have to play through 300 maps like us to find them! Anyway, it's a fun and interesting way to keep the game interesting, instead of playing the same map over and over again, we get a unique experience each time we play.

When we aren't mapquesting, we're playing with Mark and Michelle, and sometimes Kyle. When we play with them, we usually play 4v3 or 4v4 on Hunters, and try to let them do most of the killing, since their still learning, we just try our best to make sure they don't die. It makes it for some pretty fun games, but the most fun is had when we play 2v2's, Tony and myself against Michelle and Mark, because playing against Humans just has this fun and intensity you don't get playing against computers. You can't predict their actions and you've got to think on your toes a lot more, so I always have the most fun playing those games. Playing a 1v1 against Mark or Kyle is fun, especially since it always seems to come down to a 12 Marines vs. 24 Battle Cruisers scenario, and I usually win.

I haven't been eating much lately, as I have a lack of actual food. I do have a good supply of coffee, toast and perogies though, so when I eat something, you can be pretty sure it's going to be some combination of those things. My lack of eating has definatley affected my moods, sleep and general attitude, and I've become much more irritable, depressed and overall blah since my shift in eating/sleeping happened. Brah. BRAH!

Beyond all that though, I guess I'm doing okay.. I hate most people as usual, but I'm okay with that, and I'm happy with my cats and my coffee... I'm hopeful about the future, and about webkore, and about my life. While I may be in more of an irritable mood lately, I'm still in a generally good place. Take that bitches.

I'm hungry... and I wish I was asleep. dammit all.

what's that bitches? YEE!!!

quick tip: dont read own writing from last april/may when ex-girlfriend destroyed your heart and faith in companionship. results in wanting to die.

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