Excessive

Work was okay today and I made it through okay. The feeling of joy I get when I'm done my day there is indescribable. I walk home with a smile, and a good feeling that I made it through. I almost always pick up a snack on the way home as a reward kinda; tonight I got popcorn, chips and pop! okay, so there's no way I can eat that all in one night but it's the thought that counts!

... the movement of her hand waving goodbye...

This site doesn't look as good in firefox as it does in Internet Explorer... the borders are messed up and there is too much of a space at the beginning and the end of the post. Something that small bugs the hell out of me, as most of my friends would know. Usually when it comes to programming, I'm a picky bastard, so this has just been driving me nuts and I even tried to fix it... for about an hour I played around with my code trying to fix the borders but it just never changed. I know no one reading this is probably a web programmer or html expert, especially not firefox based, but if you know WHY the borders look.. inset, and not just full of color (ie. not shaded) tell me... for the love of fucking god tell me.

I've had quite a few people come up to me recently and tell me that my writing has turned to shit (not in those words exactly mind you) and I can't help but agree that my writing has gone way down hill in the last few months. I'm not really sure the cause; obviously if I knew, I'd do everything I could to change it because writing is one of the most important things to me. My first thought is that it could be my excessive alchoholism that's fried my brain and killed my ability to write. Secondly, I used to always write my well written, epic journals while I was fucked up on sleeping pills, which I don't take anymore due to financial reasons. Thirdly, I've just lost my mind a lot more recently, in more serious, subtle ways. I'm going to be purchasing myself some Simply Sleep pills as soon as possible, not just because I can't sleep, but because I want to see if it improves my writing. Another thing is that my two writing inspirations have gone ignored for awhile now, and perhaps that's why my writing style has gone downhill. Kevin Smith's writing style has a giant influence on how I write, so I want to watch Clerks, Mallrats, Chasing Amy and Dogma really soon, and see if any of it rubs off on me. Also, Tycho from Penny Arcade has a unique writing style that I love, which for some reason has stopped rubbing off on me... I think I just need to read his posts more closely and stuff.

Love is real
It is not just in novels or the movies

It is fact
And it is standing here right in front of you
So if you open your eyes
Oh what a sweet discovery
There is hope, and there is joy, and there is acceptance
So now let all of the light that collects on your plants
Keep you warm, make you smile
And I will be there with this pen in my hand
To record all the while

This is a special message to my fellow Teletech band members, Matt, Chris and Raph. If you are reading this, could you please convey a message to Pam or Louis. I can't find my badge, and I think I left it at work. No badge = no OSC phone number, so I couldn't call in to explain my absense. Tell Louis he can call me if he needs to.

my family! aww

Let's just jump right in shall we! People say I complain a lot... but I'm not sure why.

Physically I'm not doing so great. Just a few days ago I had a bit of an overdose of lithium and I'm still feeling the mental side effects of such an occurance, and the physical side effects lasted for about three days. I have a headache right now, and have since about halfway through the day; I have a really stuffy and runny nose (at the same fucking time), and a dry throat. Combine that all together and you get one god damn uncomfortable kitty. It's taken away my apetite and ability to taste. I'm attempting to eat emily-sticks and drink a coke but I'm not really getting satisfaction from it.

I've been listening to Hikaru Utada a lot lately and I just want to announce that she's now my official make believe girlfriend. Here are two pictures; make sure you click the link under the first picture to see the big other picture.