Excessive

I feel like shit, and not in the normal way, not really. I feel physically... grimey, greasy, uncomfortable. I feel tired and uninspired. I did my homework and all, but beyond that I haven't done anything and the nights almost over. I didn't clean up, I didn't really play any games, I didn't read... nothing. Just an empty night and it's left me feeling useless.

Today was the first day of fourth semester at Fanshawe, in the Computer Programming Analyst program, and I'd say it went well. I started off the semester on a good note, doing the homework in class, and finishing it once I got home before doing anything else (besides eat lunch). While the work for ASP.net was due on Friday, I wanted to get it done right away, because it wasn't a lot of work, and there was no reason to put it off, and I want to get back into the habit of completing work as soon as possible and never putting anything off unless there is a really good reason to. The only reason I didn't complete the work in class is because I had to wait to install SQL server until I got home, so I could follow an instruction video, just to be sure I installed it properly for the class. Also, the Java professor assigned us non-marked homework, sort of a refresher exercise and I did that as well, just because I knew it wouldn't take a long time, and again, there was no reason not to do it. So because of those things - because of the way I handled the work today, I think I started off right, and will try to carry this enthusiasm and eagerness forward, and hopefully it will continue.

I am having a lot of fun playing Borderlands on my brand new PC, maybe more so because of how long I've had to wait, or the added satisfaction of having built the PC on my own, or knowing that I've got the game running at complete max settings and it's silky smooth, but regardless, I am having a lot of fun, and could spend a lot of time just sitting here, getting lost in the world. I'm also enjoying Blue Dragon, a dangerously simple RPG for the 360 written by the original creator of Final Fantasy and 'main dude' from Final Fantasy 1 to 9. I suppose to summarize, I'm enjoying my game playing lately, and it's nice to relax, or it's a good means to relax I guess.

Maybe I'll just write tomorrow... Sunday brunch, frustration and yelling at work, grocery store, burger and fries for dinner, headache and naps, Game of Thrones and Girls, and now games and putting off sleep. Good times? Sure!

Although I felt fairly good all day, sickness wise, I sit here at home, a time I could relax, and I'm starting to feel worse and worse. I've started to get a very noticeable scratchy throat, so much so that it's impacting my ability to feel comfortable at all... and I just sit and think about it and wish I was comfortable. On top of that, it feels like I need to sneeze at every second, and I'm just overall restless.

Why do all country musicians have to wear cowboy hats when they're not out in the sun that often?

Yes, I already wrote today, as you could see if you scroll down a little bit, but I figured I would write a little bit as I waited for this sleeping pill to kick in.

I've been letting my writing slide over the last month or so, and it creates this sinking, guilty feeling in my stomach. I know I should be writing more, and I know that I'll regret my lack of writing in the coming days, weeks, months and years, but I've been finding it easier and easier to just put it off, or just not feel like it, and that's dangerous, as it seems to be somewhat of a slippery slope. If I'm busy playing a game at night, or reading, or watching a movie with Bekki, chances are I'm not going to stop what I'm doing to sit down and write, but I think I probably should, or at least start trying harder, because the last thing I want to do is fall into another blackout period where I don't write for a few months and that period of my life isn't recorded. I need to turn this around and get back on track, start recording my day to day life, so I can bore myself in the future!

I swear I'll write tomorrow. Two new computers, rain, headaches, a cold, school soon.

I've taken a sleeping pill already and don't have much time to sit and write.

I've bought and built a new desktop PC today, and I'm writing on it right now. It's exciting and fun and feels great so far. I'll write more about my experience tomorrow.

I'm stressed out about wanting a new laptop. For numerous reasons, I want a new laptop. This thing broke on the very first day of school back when it was brand new... the FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL and the screen wouldn't turn on. Now the god damn 'e' sometimes double inputs so e's randomly appear through-out words. It overheats, the fan never stops running, the case is literally broken and the heatsink is exposed. But the one fact that is most likely causing my anxiety - it technically still works, so I feel wrong, guilty, stupid for buying a new one. If it broke, and I had no choice, then it would be easy, to continue in school I would need to buy a laptop and it would be a no brainer, but since it's still technically an optional expense, I can't quite convince myself it's necessary.