Excessive

I'm sweaty, and I'm not even moving, but it's making me tired... tired and blah. After working hard for two days in a row, all I wanted for today was this long, uneventful day of rest and relaxation, where I didn't have to think, or move or do anything and I could just be at peace. Weeeellll not so much.

I did the dishes, and did my best to clean the kitty litter, then cleaned the vacuum, then vacuumed the kitty litter closet, rug, and carpet, took the garbage out twice and then made a giant dinner all by myself, and now I'm gonna have to do the dishes from supper too. Boooooo! That's definitely not lazy.

Michelle wants to watch a movie but I'm antsy and I know that I couldn't sit still for a whole movie, I like being able to switch between playing Super C, Street Fighter, looking online, listening to a podcast, all in five minute intervals. I feel pressured to watch it but screw that noise, I'm gonna do what I want cause I'm a free man! A FUHREEEE MAANNN!!

So there's this mansion up on a hill back in rich town, with it's own private road and private.. god knows what else. Yeah... I work there now. See..

I got a job as a dish washer, and the last couple days have been a real blur, so forgive me if I jump all over the place and don't make much sense, I'm trying my best.

Basically it started with Andrew, the executive chef calling me and telling me he needed dish washers on Saturday from 4pm to 11pm and asked if I wanted to come in. I said sure, and he just said go to the kitchen and ask for Andrew. That was the only instruction I had, so I was pretty nervous about that. The night before was really bad... one of the worst nights of my life I'd say. I barely got any sleep, and for the most of the night and morning I just laid there, tossing, turning, and shaking from being nervous, I couldn't eat or drink and I felt like throwing up constantly. My Mom and Sister were proud of my for being brave enough to go, so they wanted to support me the best they could, so my Sister agreed to drive me my first day, and my Mom came along for emotional support, and my Sister gave me a couple Xanax, which actually helped quite a bit I think. It was by far one of the most difficult things I've ever had to do, mainly because it's been so long since I've done anything like it, and so I was quite crippled. It all seems unreal looking back on it, walking in there, asking around, finding my place, it all seems like a dream, in fact my dreams seem more real than those memories. I went into the Cafe part, because I didn't know where I had to go really, and a nice guy about my age walked me to the main kitchen and Andrew was sitting outside on a picnic bench and I shook his hand and he asked me to follow him, and he walked me downstairs and showed me the changing rooms and told me to grab a uniform and then left. So I, nervously, grabbed a uniform and put it on, went back upstairs and outside to see him and he just said to go do the dishes, so I went back into the kitchen around a bunch of people I didn't know and did my best to do the dishes as fast as I could. It used the same dish washer that pizza hut had, so I didn't have any trouble, I just kept having to ask everyone where to put stuff away.

The first half of my shift is mainly cleaning the things that the chefs use to make the dishes, mixers, bowls, trays and stuff like that. It's never really that busy and there isn't really ever a pile up of stuff to do, so the times there are no dishes, I've got to do things like sweep or wash counters, so it looks like I'm busy when in fact I'm not really doing anything. The second half starts around the time the people start eating, and not only do I get the dirty pots and pans that once held the food, but carts and carts full of hundreds of plates, bowls, coffee mugs and coffee plates. Basically you rinse off all the junk and stick them in a tray, and it goes pretty quickly when me and my fellow dishwasher John work together well. I definitely keep active the entire night, and rarely get any kind of break, only about ten minutes to eat a plate of whatever it was they cooked (roast beef dinner on my first day, chicken and potato salad on my second). Both of my shifts have lasted longer than six hours, and I didn't get to sit down once, and by the end of the night I was really quite sore and sweaty and gross feeling, and my hands get burned (from 200 degree washed metal) and cut from the washer. I don't think there is anything more satisfying than coming home from work, getting in a hot shower, getting in my pajamas and just sitting down for the first time.

I was never told how to do the dishes, I was never told my rate of pay, what to do with uniforms, rules, the way things are done, who to talk to if I have a problem or questions, I was never told if I was hired for good, and I was never told if I'll be getting consistent hours or anything. My co-worker said he saw my name on the schedule, so I asked him to show it to me and yup, I work next week Friday and Saturday, so that's a start isn't it? There are still a few things I need to do, like open a bank account because my CIBC bank account is closed because I didn't pay Visa for like.. two years and I don't really want to go through whatever it is you have to go through to fix that whole situation, so I'm going to think about where to open an account and that's the first thing, I also need to buy a lock for a locker at work.. and I think there were other things but I don't remember now.

On the one hand I enjoy how independent it is a place to work. I wasn't told anything, but that's freeing in a way... I don't have to do anything someone else's way, it's up to me to figure out my own methods and stuff, and that's cool. But on the other hand, it can get somewhat crazy and some direction and information wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. I don't care what my rate of pay is, because I'd take anything, but it's pretty unprofessional not to discuss that with your potential employee before asking them to do work, but I guess I'll just find out on my first paycheque. It's probably close to minimum wage... I dunno really... it's a kitchen though, and that's where I wanted to work, and Andrew, the boss, already asked me if I wanted to learn how to cook and he said good, he'd train me. So I have that in the future if I want it.

My first goal is to fix all the fucked up shit in my life, like my debt, and this work is the first step in a positive direction. I'm pretty happy about it, pretty proud. I may not be happy all the time, but walking to the bus after work, I'm pretty damn happy.

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