Excessive

Today was an interesting day... everything feels a little bit off center, slightly out of place, but I know myself, and I know this feeling was to be expected given circumstances. It's not neccessarily a bad thing, but it's really got me worked up inside. I feel nervous inside, I feel anxious... I just want to feel at rest for once.

Work was pretty easy today; I decided not to care too much about anything beyond my own work, I did what I thought was best and everything else is other people's problems. I realize that's not the best attitude, and it's not the kind of attitude I normally have, but I'm sick of working really hard and staying late but never getting a raise or high fives. I did the BBQ prep that I had to do this morning, and then eventually moved on to bowling salads for the dinner at night, but afterward I had a choice between continuing on with the buffet prep (ie. making buffet veg, potatoes, fruit platters, etc) or making some salads, and I chose making more salads, and I think my logic was solid. There were enough salads to start, but there was no more greek or pasta if they had run out, and tomorrow there is another buffet at night but I'm not in, and Jill is alone until 11am, so no one would have time to make more salads, so taking the time to make them today seemed like the smart thing to do. That was my work day... pretty exciting. Jon gave me a ride home, a rare but welcome treat.

Once I was home, I think I had a snack, I don't really remember. A huge wave of exaustion was hitting me, as I only got four hours of sleep or something the night before. I sat down and had a bowl of chips I think, but at the same time I was distracted by Steam on my laptop wouldn't load, it wouldn't connect or log in and it was driving me crazy, because all I wanted to do was look at the daily sales and buy some, and I couldn't, and if I can't get into Steam I can't even play my games, so I was getting pretty frustrated. I ended up giving up, turning on Wintersleep and laying down in bed, napping until Mark got home and woke me up!

Once I was up, and fought off the unbelievable tiredness, I made dinner, a chicken sandwich (chicken breast on croissant, with garlic mayo, lettuce, red onion, tomato) with a pickle and couple olives, cottage cheese and a coca-cola! It was a good dinner, and I watched an episode of the Shield with it.

Afterward, and pretty much since then, I've pretty much just planted myself in my computer chair and done various computer related activities. I added a new, small feature as per Calen's request. When viewing a users games for a specific system, it will now show recent activity involving just that system. It was pretty easy to put in, and it was fun, so a win win right? Afterward, I played some Far Cry, and some Atom Zombie Smasher, Audiosurf and Beat Hazard. Basically just trying my best to feel comfortable and have fun, which I pretty much did. I mean, I didn't and/or don't feel the greatest, but I can think of a lot of worse ways to spend a night. Oh yeah, I even played a 1v1 of StarCraft 2 against Tom (and won thanks) and that was fun.

Tomorrow is a day off, and I don't really plan on doing anything. In fact, I think I really don't want to do anything, so we'll see how that goes. May have to argue with Mark a bit but I really don't think I'm in any mood to go out or do anything that would require me to enjoy myself. I'm kind of just a big pile of shit, so, I need to plan my activities around that.

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