Excessive

I have my down times and my not so down times, and recently, very recently, I seem to be on the up, and it's strange, because it's not like I gradually go from one to the other - no - it's quite the opposite, I snap into one, into the other, up and down without warning or predictibility. I thought the world was ending late last week, I felt like all hope was lost and I was so stuck in my own head, I was insane and obsessive and tortured. Saturday I had a hangover and it was a terrible day full of suffering, but something in that, something that I don't know seemed to have snapped me out of it, it's not like I gradually changed, I was a horrible mess one night, and the next night I was relaxed and enjoying some games and tv.

Since then, I've been in a generally good mood, at least... what a good mood is to me. I've been playing games and watching TV without this nagging feeling like I'm hopelessly upset and anxious about something. I can actually sit back and become immersed in something without distraction.

I finished Alan Wake yesterday, and finished Max Payne 1 tonight. I've been working on playing through Final Fantasy IV on both DS and GBA at the same time... playing one section through on GBA and then saving, loading FFIV:DS and playing through the same section. It's actually pretting fun and interesting, however the DS remake is very, very slow, all of the spells and fight sequences take much longer, as does walking around. I've done all of the same things, and I've taken more than an hour longer on the DS version. I've been trying to work my way through as many games as I can, games that I've yet to complete, as to improve my overall percentage of games bought that I've completed. I find it strangely satisfying to improve my statistics. As I play, I plan out in my head what games I'll tackle next, and it changes constantly, but I think I'm going to aim for finishing games I've already started, generally games that I'm very close to completing but put down for one reason or another. For example, Zelda: Link to the Past for GBA just has one dungeon left to do and the game is over, so I should really just read up to jog my memory and then pick it up and finally finish it.

With the games, and the TV, I've been putting my days off to good use, which was Monday and tomorrow. Work today was good, I felt good at my job... that's been happening recently. I go in, and if I'm by myself, I tend to just kick ass, without other people... uhh... I wouldn't say other people get in my way, but I find it a lot easier to organize and manage time when I'm the only person doing it. I had everything for the day ready super early, and had time to do other things, and the atmosphere was nice, and Jeff was in a good mood. I finally talked to him about a raise I was supposed to get but didn't, and he talked to the general manager and the woman in charge of money, and they're going to fix it, so we'll see what happens from that. With my day off tomorrow, I may hit up the grocery store, but I always say that and then never do, but I think going for a walk might be nice... listen to some morning stream, since it's been two weeks since I've listened to one, and maybe pick up some food.

I think I want to make sheppards pie for dinner tomorrow, so I may buy the beef and some veggies to go with it, and I'm not entirely sure what I'll do for lunch... depending on when I wake up and how I feel, I might just eat breakfast and go to the store to buy lunch food as well.

Only time will tell! I keep in mind that my mind and moods can take a turn for the worse at any time and without warning, and that just makes me enjoy this nice time that much more.

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