Excessive

It's a nice revelation as I chat with a friend and I'm asked how things have been, if I've been having an easier time, and I go to respond and realize I can say, "yeah, today was a good day." I'm kind of lost within a bubble of safety, where I pretend that nothing else exists except things that make me happy, and it's safe to say that's mainly playing Disgaea 4, but I can tell that something in my head has clicked, at least for right now, in that I'm super energetic and creative... and yeah... I know what that means, but I'll pretend like I don't. It's better... much better than the last week, because at least I can still sedate myself when needed, to counteract the side effects.

As I wrote last night, I had a giant super migraine of death that not only caused me great pain, but was making me feel sick to my stomach, made it so I couldn't eat... I couldn't even get through an episode of Jimmy while I tried to unwind from work. I got home, I wrote a few sentences, and then just went in to the bedroom and fell asleep. I slept for twelve hours, uninterrupted. Thankfully I woke up with no headache and I felt better; My body was sore from such a long sleep but it was worth it if it meant feeling awake and not migrainey.

Since I woke up so late (it was about 10:30am or maybe even closer to 11am) I decided to just skip breakfast and have a nice lunch, a safe and comfortable, warm lunch, a lunch that would make me feel good. Oh... I suppose I just implied it but I didn't go to school. I would've had to have been up by 6:15am if I had wanted to go, and after the unbearable night I had, I just couldn't see myself being able to do that. It probably wasn't in my best interest as far as school goes, but it was in my best interest as far as health goes, physical and mental, so there you go, it's justified. Anyway, lunch.. yes... lunch. I started playing Disgaea 4 right away, like as soon as I came out of my room, but I figured I'd eat and play, just to give you an idea of how eager I was to play. I made a bowl of a nice tomato based vegetable soup, one of the 'Healthy Choice' ready to serve soups and half of a ham sandwich with all it's appropriate sides. I enjoyed this while playing Disgaea 4 and it made me happy, it was comforting and nice, and that was my goal.

After I had played Disgaea 4 for long enough to satisfy me, I decided that I should get my school work done, which is due tomorrow, so I moved into the computer room and sat down to do some work. I turned on Major/Minor by Thrice, and did a memo assignment where I had to read this overly complicated article on glossaries and taxonomies and then write a memo about it to some made up person, and the entire assignment just seemed retarded. I don't understand why the professor picked such an obscenely complicated article to use, when she could've picked something simple, considering the point of the assignment was to learn how to write memos, not how to understand this insane article. After I had completed that, I did the client/server assignment we had, which was to add buttons to an already existing project we had, something which we've been doing since day one, it was pretty easy, just took a little time.

This lead to about mid-afternoon, around 3pm, and I sat down and played some more Disgaea, which was... fun. There are only so many ways for me to describe it, so yeah, I just played it until I got hungry, and decided to have some dinner. I made BBQ chicken breast, with mushroom risotto and with green beans and baby carrots. It was pretty good, and I watched Star Trek while I ate. It was a good episode, the one where Data has nightmares and it's all pretty weird and crazy, I've always liked that one.

After dinner, I wanted to work on some more school stuff, but pretty much just ended up chatting with Ally and listening to music, browsing websites and you know... not really feeling concerned about it at all. I set up my PVR to record all the new shows tonight, so that after my bath I could watch them all and.. write... you know, like I'm doing right now. I had a bath and listened to the Morning Stream, while I pondered redesigning my homework website, I enjoyed a warm bath, and eventually got out, got dressed and sat down in the living room.

I've watched Community, Parks and Rec, The Office and Whitney, and have now started Big Bang, so lots of TV tonight, but I've also been writing, and soon I will play a bit of Disgaea 4 and go to bed. Tomorrow I've got school at Noon, which if I had actually gone to school today I could've not gone, but I need to hand in a physical copy of one of my assignments, so to school I will go, and then I work at 5pm to 11pm tomorrow... I probably won't stay until 11pm, because that's really god damn late, but we'll see, it all depends on how I'm feeling and if I can get a ride home with someone. Since I've got school late I can stay up a bit later, which would be why I'm up so late right now.

Overall today was an amazing break from this giant shitstorm that is my life, I felt relief as I sat and played Disgaea 4, I felt excited and eager to make progress and dive into the game, and I felt excited as I was planning a redesign of one of my websites, and I just felt creative and alive. I know it won't last forever, in fact I'm pretty sure it'll be gone by tomorrow, and I'll go back to endless work and school, but enjoying this day, this time... this is wonderful. I haven't felt good like this for a couple weeks, and while I may not have had decent human contact, I can always see people in my dreams.

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