Excessive

I feel good but I'm worried. I've been happy, as I've mentioned, but with each day my mind is getting faster and faster and harder to keep attention on things. I spent all of today going from game to game because nothing could keep my attention and nothing felt fun or interesting, I just... sat... at my computer and tapped my foot super fast non-stop and felt crazy. You could say, "well at least you aren't depressed" but... this isn't much better. I will try to keep it in perspective and enjoy the fact that the last two or three days have been very enjoyable for me, and I've enjoyed peaceful time playing games that I haven't felt in what seems like forever.

I ended up feeling kind of sick today, with a small headache, sick to my stomach, almost like motion sickness, which may have been a result of playing one of the games I played, as sometimes I've felt this way after playing an FPS or some other random game. That, paired with my inability to hold attention on anything, has led to a mostly restless, uncomfortable day. The most fun I had was playing Plants Vs. Zombies, which I've owned and played on my iPhone, and recently bought on sale for PC. I've been playing the PC version, catching up to where I was on the phone, and out of all the games I played today, I did enjoy that the most, and I think I've caught up to where I am on my phone. I also played Deus Ex, Alice, Unreal Tournament 3, Super Mario Galaxy, Zuma's Revenge and then read about countless other games because I just couldn't keep focused on anything.

I already feel like a mess again, and it's happening really fast. I just wish that I could find some kind of middle ground where I wasn't too happy and I wasn't too down, but like, it's a constantly changing thing where I can never get comfortable.

I have work tomorrow, and I know that it's going to be a really crappy day. I've got to work from 7am to 4:30pm, and we've got to put out a breakfast, a lunch buffet, and then get a reception (including 750 hors). It's going to be a long, stressful day, I can tell. If I go home not feeling tired and stressed, it will be a miracle. I'm worried I guess, and I don't like that feeling.

It's frustrating when I know even if I were to sit down and play the most fun game ever right now, it wouldn't hold my attention. I want to lay down and play Final Fantasy 4 in bed, because I've kind of run out of things to do today, but I just feel like that's not interesting or appealing, but I really want to... does that make any sense?

I'll figure something out I guess... I'll talk about how tomorrow goes... tomorrow!

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