Excessive

I usually write in front of the TV, with something like the Daily Show on as company, or maybe Jimmy Fallon, or Conan, but tonight I'm at my desk and it doesn't have quite the same feeling to it. I feel too focused... a lot of the time I just lean back and let thoughts come to me as I write, it sometimes takes up to an hour, and just sitting here, only writing, I dunno... not the same flow.

For the third day in a row I feel sick and have a headache. Tuesday after work was by far the worst case of it, having quite a large headache and unmanagable neausia, forcing me to try and sleep, failing, and then just laying on the couch in misery. The next day, my day off, I was fine at first, but as the day went on, I started to feel sick again, eventually getting a small headache and getting the sick to my stomach feeling back. Again today, once I got home from work, I could feel a slight headache forming, and eventually I felt super tired, headachey and a bit off... it's getting a bit old at this point. I'm not sure what's causing it, or why it's sticking around for so long, but it's not welcome, and I'm very uncomfortable. Maybe it's stress... maybe it's a physical manifestation of how my mind is feeling lately.

I woke up this morning pretty easily I suppose, I remember waking up quite a few times as the time to get up got closer, rolling over and wishing I had more time. That's always unpleasant - constantly waking up every few minutes when all you want to do is sleep some more, get some uninterupted sleep... it's a dreadful feeling really. I remember feeling that way this morning, wishing the clock would start going backwards for some reason, that the sun would go back down... that I would wake up in a different place, in a different life, in a different body.

Work was kind of stupid today, and not in the normal stupid ways, but in different, more unique retardedness. It was a slower day, or at least, it should've been... I was in for less time, only scheduled to work 7am to 2pm, which is nice I guess, while I need the money pretty badly, having a slightly shorter day just brightens the mood, and can improve the day for whatever reason. There were two events added, small, but annoying, so I spent the morning making sandwiches and random crap that goes along with that. Afterward, since it was Thursday, I had to get the BBQ ready, with the help of Mark. This brought us to about 11:30am or so, which left around 2.5 hours to do other work. There is a large gala event tomorrow, so I figured I would use that time to prep as much as I could, as it would only make my life easier tomorrow. Sadly, I only had a chance to do one thing for it, before having to clean the freezer, and then Jill got sent home an hour early, so I had to do some of the breakfast prep, and then it was time to go, so no prep got done for tomorrows busy day, and there really isn't anyone in tomorrow to help me get shit ready, and that would be why I'm in 7 to 5... lots of fun. Thankfully the gala doesn't really start until 6:30, so I will be out of there before it goes, so that shit isn't my problem.

After work I stopped at Valumart for some junk food, as I was out, and you know... it's an important part of my ability to relax and feel comfortable... play a game, eat some chips... yeah, I don't know why I'm not fat either, but I'll keep doing what I'm doing until that day comes. Anyway, I grabbed some stuff for a nice roast beef sandwich and that's what I had for dinner, while watching Jimmy. Afterward I felt pretty freakin tired, almost fell asleep sitting up on the couch, and just laid in bed for a bit, listening to music. Eventually Ben called me to play some games, specifically Left 4 Dead, so I got up and we got on vent and played.

Neither of us had really played Left 4 Dead before... I had played it once with Kyle, and once on my own, and it seemed like a fun enough game, although I felt like I was missing something because it had very limited story or motivation, there was no score, no real narrative, it was just killing random zombies for no particular reason, the entire level is essentially the same room over and over again, and there are really only three guns. Yeah, I'm making it sound kinda bad but there is fun in there. We played through the entire first campaign and started the second, and we had fun, it was mildy challenging at the end of the first campaign, and the rest of the time we just shot each other in the balls or whatever. Ben's pretty busy, so I'm not sure when we'll play again, but I do look forward to it, as I think playing through the rest of the game will be a lot of fun.

Like I mentioned before, work tomorrow is going to suck. I work for ten hours, and I don't think there's going to be much help... I better not have to fucking stay late or I'm going to be pissed.

I feel a lot more sick now than I did when I first started writing, so I'm going to stop now, go watch the Daily Show and then go to sleep a bit early because being awake at this point is very unpleasant.

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