Excessive

Creatively stagnant, I've been sitting here trying to program; trying to improve something I've been working on for awhile, and can't seem to do anything worthwhile. It's frustrating, but I can't let it upset me, because it's supposed to be something I do to relax, so what's the point if it just pisses me off?

I've sat down to watch The Bourne Identity, part of the Bourne Trilogy bluray collection I bought the other day. I've seen the movie tons of times, but it's been long enough that I can watch another viewing, especially after a day of relaxing, it's nice to end it with a movie and some computer time.

I treated today like a true day off, nothing but things I like, and that mainly involved playing Skyrim. I slept in late, much later than I had wanted to... in fact I had kind of wanted to wake up earlier than normal, to have a breakfast and really take advantage of my day off, but the plan kind of backfired on me, I turned off my alarm and I slept in until Noon. I pretty much turned on Skyrim right as I woke up, I don't know why, I just sat down and it felt like the thing to do haha.

After about a half hour or so of playing, I decided it was time to eat breakfast before it got too late. I made some toast, and scrambled eggs and coffee... it was pretty good. I played some more Skyrim and eventually decided to go to the grocery store before it got too late. I picked up some eggs and bacon, some Coke, some ketchup... you know, life's essentials. The walk was nice... I always say that. I always talk about how my walks to the grocery store and nice and relaxing and it's generally true. I'm not sure what it is about it, but I usually enjoy it... the air, the outside. I listen to music and walk...

Once home I... wait, I bet you know this. Played more Skyrim? Yup! I did that until it was getting later and I would need to make dinner before it got too late to eat. I was playing Skyrim with Calen in an Xbox Live Party, so that we could talk, but I left around 6pm to start dinner. I made rice crispy squares, and then started on dinner right away. I made mushroom risotto, beef tenderloin, and had asparagus, green beans and baby carrots. It was a good meal, although the beef was a bit old and a bit small, and had a little bit of fat through it, but it was still good, and the risotto was wonderful.

After dinner I spent some time on the computer and eventually had a bath. I moved my laptop out to the living room and put on the Bourne Identity. I programmed a bit with the uTunes project, trying to improve it's speed, as to process and upload my library, it takes close to 10 or 20 minutes, with pre-scanning taking something like five minutes, and I want that cut down as much as possible, but I couldn't seem to figure out any way to get it to run faster. So if that's the case, and it really is going to take that long to process the data, I'm going to reorganize how the data is stored... as before I organized it in a way in which I figured I had to for speed, unorganized, not normalized... now I will go back and design a good database, and if it adds an extra minute on to the processing, at least it will create a better database.

Anyway, the day is almost over and it's felt like it's flown by... kinda sad. I wish I had more lazy days where I could do nothing but play my favorite games and make nice meals. I've got to open tomorrow at work, so that's waking up at 6am and going in for 7am. It says that I'm only working until 3pm, so I hope it sticks to that. I didn't do school work today, I told myself I deserved a day off, but I still felt a bit guilty. I know that I should've but I just really wanted to not do anything. Which means tomorrow I've got to do at least client/server, and then this next week I really need to get working on things. C++ and Communications specifically.

The last couple of days I've felt pretty content, besides work. Work has been shitty, yesterday especially. Spoken to with disrespect, I was five minutes away from walking out... just quitting with no explanation. I haven't felt like that in a long time, but boy was I fucking pissed off. Anyway, the last couple days... at home... I've felt pretty content. I've been thinking less about things that make me sad, and more about nothing... nothing really. That's always for the best... not thinking.

I can feel lonely if I start thinking... I can think about how nice it is when people have crushes on you, and how I wish I had someone like that. Ah, I better stop before I start going on about things that upset me haha.

I should be going to sleep shortly but I think I might just watch the rest of this movie! Yay for bad decisions!

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