Excessive

For most of yesterday I felt so nervous about... what seemed to be nothing... that I couldn't relax, or breath.. or whatever. Michelle commented a few times about how hard my heart was pounding and she could even see it as I stood there... I rock. I'm so gonna die young...

Today I feel the same... sweaty palms, heavy chest, hearts pounding, feel like shit inside... I guess this is what work does to me... is this the way it's supposed to be? Should a job make someone feel this way? I don't think it's fair.

Everyone stopped emailing me and I keep getting shitty call after shitty call, but I'm dealing with them and I havent hung up on anyone yet... but I think I'm going to now... because I have no solution for this bitch and she's just.. well, a bitch. If she was nice, I would have been on the call for a long time, trying my best.. but she makes me uncomfortable and I don't want to talk to her anymore.

Saturday night rocked... hung out with Dave and Kurt, and Sarah and Kimmy, and Michelle, Mark and Anne... and... Antonio and Kane and bald dude... and talked to Kyle who seemed mad that we woke him up at 4am. I was more drunk than usual... but it was fun anyway. Now I don't feel like drinking for a long time.

I guess that's it for now... I could keep going but I'm nervous and that makes it difficult to write. I've got to waste as much time as possible before I.. finish.. this call.

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