Excessive

Today was a non-Jordan type day, where I do things I don't normally do, and thus the day feels weird and everything is slightly off and I'm using this time - this time of sitting and eating a snack and watching Jimmy.. even if it's 2am... to attempt to let my brain return to normal.. to feel at home, to feel at rest, to feel comfortable and most importantly to feel familiar.

Today I went to Toronto to a hardcore show, Every Time I Die, and I agreed to going to this when I was going through a time in my life where I was simply forcing myself to say yes to everything. I go through phases, sometimes years apart, but I go through phases where in order to battle depression, or anxiety or some unexplained feeling of desire to break my cycle. It has mainly lead to irresponsible or irrational behavior, risky stuff, disregard for my own safety or financial security, among other things. I suppose you could relate it to what some would describe as a manic episode, but I'm not here to claim that, or say that. Anyway, I agreed to going to the show during one of those phases, and then time went on, and I'm in a much different place now, but the time surely came, and I didn't really want to go anymore, and I was anxious about it, but the truth was, once I got there, it was pretty enjoyable.

I spent the morning working on programming and reading, not really doing much. I had some lunch and watched tv while reading... low key stuff... eventually got ready to go and I was picked up by Mel and Darren at 3:30pm. The show started at 6:30pm and we got into Toronto and parked around that time... we were hungry so we walked to the corner and ate at Dangerous Dan's Diner, a hamburger joint. I got a mozzarella mushroom burger, with fries, but only asked for lettuce, tomato and onion, and I should have asked for ketchup and mustard, as the burger was a bit dry, and I had no ketchup for my fries, so that was disappointing, but overall the burger was well made and pretty good.

There were three opening bands and Every Time I Die was the fourth band to play. The first three were decent hardcore bands that I had never heard before... they did a good job at slowly warming up the crowd. There were kids slam dancing and what not, but we found a nice place up in the upper level where we could lean on a railing and see perfectly, and that's much more suited to my old age nowadays :P

I enjoyed the show and before we hit the highway home, we stopped and got some candy for the drive. I snacked a bunch and listened to some music and the drive home was faster than I thought. I got home, ran a bath, and decided to sit and write to attempt to unwind.

My shift changed tomorrow, so I work at 12pm now, until a time I'm unaware of. I guess that's alright... not like I have anything else to do really... but I would've preferred to be off at 5pm (9-5) so I could have dinner, but oh well, either way I'm not really looking forward to going to work at all. There are countless things I'd rather do, in all honesty.

I'm going to watch a little TV to unwind before I try to fall asleep. I have a bit of a headache and my body aches, so sleep seems like a good idea, but my ears are ringing and my mind is racing, so I need a bit of time.

629 words