Excessive

I have the burning desire to have a book tracking/book library website created and up and running already, I really want it, I get excited by the idea and yet the idea of actually sitting down to create it, or the effort it would take to create a nice layout for it, discourages me and stops me from even starting. On top of that, I have the money project still going and I actually have somewhat of a time limit on that, well... an optimal time goal I guess, where having it completed, or at least certain features completed, would make life easier and more structured and controlled and nice and safe and warm. It's hard to find motivation to do any of it really, and I'm just not in the mood at all, not even the slightest, to sit and do it, but today I forced myself and got a little bit done. Instead of it getting my juices flowing and getting into the groove, I was left feeling as unmotivated and uninterested in the project as I was this last week or two.

I've been reading so much and making such progress in the books that I'd love to have that book website already up and running so I could track my reading, how much I've actually gone through, and what books I have to read in the future. I don't know... I know that I will eventually snap into this weird creative mood where I can't do anything but program night and day, and I'll create the entire project in a week... but I don't wanna wait!

Today contained a variety of: reading, SSX and programming ExMoney. That's about it... at one point I rode a bike! Yeah, that's right, a bike!

I woke up at 8:30am naturally, not to an alarm, but just opened my eyes and I was awake. Bekki was beside me, and I wasn't tired, only sore from the sleep... stiff and my neck hurt... it always seems to hurt. Maybe it's the bed, or the way I lie, but if I pay attention, I always notice my neck, back and body hurt... ache, after sleep. I got up out of bed and decided to make a nice breakfast for the two of us, a somewhat 'standard' breakfast, but a nice one regardless. I made a breakfast of bacon, broccoli, cheddar and red onion omelet, and toast. We watched TV while we ate, and I eventually played SSX, and Bekki had to leave for the day.

I spent the afternoon feeling lazy, dead, tired, useless, lethargic and slow. I tried getting into programming but felt slow and ineffective, retarded and backwards. I remembered that I had wanted to go to the store to get kitty litter, and it just so happened that Bekki had brought her bike over, so I went for a bike ride and the sunshine and wind helped make me feel more awake and alive, and the exercise and exposure to the world made me feel less trapped in my own mind, and more productive.

For dinner I had a nice homemade burger, the first of the year, and the warm, bright weather, fresh breeze and sunshine just made it feel as though I could eat nothing else. I made a 4oz burger, with an amazing tomato, red leaf, pickle, red onion, mayo, mustard and ketchup. Served along side some french fries, fried in brand spankin' new oil, it was a great dinner.

Throughout the day I spent most of my time reading, and it's where I like to be. Absorbed in that world, existing in a fictional world - it's like marathoning a television season, just sitting and watching episode after episode, and losing a day to it.

I open at work tomorrow, at 6am and work until 2pm. I should be going to sleep soon, sooner rather than later obviously, and I'll be needing to take a cab in the morning. I'm off again on Saturday, so I just need to get through tomorrow's relatively easy day, and make a plan to enjoy Saturday, which I should. Bekki is moving in, and it's a new stage of life. Kind of funny to put it into those words, but those words are accurate. I'll write more about it on Saturday itself, or maybe tomorrow.

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