Excessive

Happy birthday to me, Jordan, I'm 29 now, one more year to 30, and that's... strange. Been very self-reflective lately, thinking a lot about what I'm doing, why I don't feel relaxed at home, what my goals are. Don't get me wrong, I'm the happiest I've ever been in my entire life, but on my days off, or after work, when I come and sit at home, I kind of feel a bit lost as to what to do, or what I'm doing. It's a weird feeling.

Today was okay, but I kept feeling a bit sad. I think it's because I always set but try NOT to set, unrealistic expectations for what I want the day to feel like, and I usually end up feeling a bit small, or sad, for no particular reason.

I've been feeling drawn to getting lost in some games, and that's been working. I don't feel as guilty, or guilty at all when I spend an evening playing, and I really enjoy reading lately. I think I need to write some short, mid and long term goals out, and make some kind of plan, cause right now my school debt seems unbeatable, just.. impossible, and it's going to be about the cost of a down payment, and then after I've paid back the cost of a down payment, I want to save up for a down payment, so the entire process is very discouraging, as it's going to take years.

Gotta just enjoy life, and try not to rush. Save for as long as it takes, pay off as I go, and it'll come together eventually. Right?

Anyway...

Happy Birthday to myself, and this last year has been amazing, so I'm excited to see what this 29th year has to offer.

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