Excessive

I'm do so much better than I thought I would be. I went out Saturday with a few friends and had a blast.. met some strange guys, expierienced some strange things but I felt pretty good about it all. If I keep busy than I can usually manage to feel okay; Linzie has been an amazing support for me these past few days, by making sure I'm not alone, her presence alone puts me at ease, and just having someone to cling to if need be helps so much. She's also going through some things at the moment, so I'm sure she finds at least some comfort in being here as well. The invitation is open to anyone! I'm lonely and want someone to come over! Beeeeee wiiitthhh meeee.

My Mom has been helping me out a bunch as well, by giving me rides to work, taking me out shopping, and making me lunches... pretty much just spoiling me silly, probably because she's scared I'll become suicidal if I'm not distracted by things. It's also helped keep me sane in the past while, and I appreciate it deeply.

another shot of me and one of my crotch. enjoy.

i took this picture for mark.
it's his shot-not mine

i will add more to this entry later on

I actually went to work for a full day on Saturday, and went again today for most of the day, and we got extra pay because it was a holiday, and I plan on going tomorrow for (hopefully) the full day, because I have to go in order to get the extra pay for the holiday. It's torture... to be honest, it's getting harder and harder as the days go on. I feel nervous the entire time I'm there. I never do anything right and I never feel okay.

My birthday is in less than a month and I think I'm gonna have a few people over for beers and a good time. It's not exactly close but close enough that I'm gonna start asking people so they can book it off work :D

There is so much more I want to talk about but no matter how hard I try, it just won't come out. I wish I could help people; I wish I could help myself. I love the soundeffects and overdramatics...

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