Excessive

I wish I were a cat; I wish I could lay on the couch with Marle ALL day, never saying a word, maybe never even opening my eyes. That would be perfection; such carelessness, no responsibility, relaxation... that would be my heaven. My eyes are so heavy and it's so early, I despise that, I hate it so much. I hate the fact that I have work tomorrow; that I have to go alone. I'm terrified... I'm scared beyond the limits of my mind. I can't see the buttons on the phone because I black out so much and have constant panic attacks... I'm so weak.

A second heaven would take place in the world of Star Ocean I suppose. I've been playing like mad, as per usual. The clock has gotten up to 65 hours now, and I'm reaching close to the end of the story portion of the game (of course various bonus dungeons, mini-games and closed areas become unlocked when the game is completed... so the game isn't beaten, once the last boss goes down). I'm very much impressed in the way this game has turned out. I would have to say it's up there with Disgaea as one of the best RPG's ever created, ever. There is so much inside this game that you could never get sick of it, never get bored of one specific thing because you can just switch and start doing something else, like item creation, or building your characters up, getting battle trophies... and so on. It's orgasmic. I tricked Emily into playing it too.. mwuhaha.

I realize now that there is very little reason for me to be writing this; 'what's the point'. I think most people have stopped coming here... I think I've lost most of my friends, if not all of whom I used to call such a thing. I don't talk to anyone, no one talks to me. I haven't got a message or an email from anyone in such a long time, I forget what it feels like to have a feeling of being liked.

I wish I were a cat... I wish I were a sleeping cat, on the couch, that's my heaven.

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