October 17, 2004 10:07PM
wordless
I'm not sure what the reason as to why I haven't been updating more regularly as of late, but a part of me wants to change that, and another part of me doesn't give a shit, buuuut, I suppose I should make an attempt.
I suppose I've been busy in the last week or so, with Emily and I calling a lot of available apartments and getting information on them, losing my job at GTN and then getting a new job at TNS the next day, finding a good place to live, starting to pack, listening to new music, and not really doing anything.. When I enter my mind to think back onto what I've done and stuff, it all seems like a blur... like looking out of the back seat window when you were on the highway as a kid, seeing it all go by in a blur... I was always fascinated with that, to be honest, but anyway, I can't seem to grasp any whole thoughts, entire happenings and the such, it all seems like a big blur, and although I know for a fact that there are things in there, for some reason I can't turn them into the words that would express them.
Emily got paid on Friday, which gave us some money for once, and she went to Wal-Mart and surprised me by getting my brain medication! It was very unexpected, but appreciated, as I am quite the completely insane person while I'm off them, and I'm getting back on them regularly now, and everything inside of my brain has changed. I can think straight now (except for recalling memories it seems), my moods seem quite a bit more stable, I can focus on a goal, and things are a bit numb now (which is good after being hypersensitive for weeks). I do miss a few things of being off of them... I've lost most, if not all, of my creative spirit... or it seems to have been lost... it might be in there somewhere, but I have to fight really, really hard to even get a glimps of it and I'm not willing to do so right now. The day I started back up on my pills was the very last time I did any work on the entry script... some of you may have noticed the "Recent Entry" thing on the menu - that was there for testing - the recent entry listing is a new feature which can be placed anywhere in your layout. Right now it features the last five entries, but I'm going to make it variable; make it so that you can just tell it how many you want to show, with a limit of course. It kind of upsets me that I can't seem to code anymore... my brain just doesn't work that way anymore it seems... I have ideas but the way to do it doesn't just flow in like it used to... I have to think too hard and it hurts. Perhaps it's another reason why I have had trouble keeping updated on this site... but I guess that just gives me an easy thing to blame it on.
I don't really want to write anymore.
oh and just a note: there's a counter at the very bottom of the menu now. I hurt my brain but I programmed it in.
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Timeline
- I lived with Ben on Cartier
- I was with Emily
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