October 02, 2004 11:44AM
After All That's Said And Done
anything at any price. all of this is for you
I've been reading bits and peices of the last three years of my life because of the large amounts of importing of old posts into the new system, and I've to realize that I am the exact same person as I was back then. I am still worthless, aimless, cold-hearted, a complete dick to anyone who comes in contact, hurtful, hateful, resentful, goalless, miserable and completely, and totally useless. It makes me sick. Reality is completely shifted and distored in my mind, nothing I see is what others see. Everything that I see, and experience is completely different than what everyone else sees or experiences. I'm completely diluted into my own world and only when I'm shocked out of it for a moment do I remind myself.
Everything I do is just so fucking pointless. Why the fuck do i even bother? No one cares, I don't even fucking care. Who the fuck cares if I beat Final Fantasy 5 in 30 hours? Hmmm..? It's such worthless things like this that make my entire life meaningless. All of my accomplishments only have meaning to me, and they only have meaning to me because I blow them up to be actually worth something, when in reality it really makes no fucking different at all. I could open up my entire web development directory and just delete it all and not one person in this world would give a shit. If I loaded up my PS1 and PS2 Save cards and deleted everything? Oh no!! Oh wait.. IT DOESNT FUCKING MATTER. everything I do is worthless.
I should just shrivel up and die now. I don't do anything to anyone but bring them down.
290 words
1 Comments
Timeline
- I lived with Ben on Cartier
- I was with Emily
1 Comments
January 01, 2000
it *does* matter becuase final fantasy is part of your interests in life, not only that.. but your superb at playing that game. it might not matter to people because some don't understand you, but who cares about what others think? i myself find it very i
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