Excessive

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Like the path to heaven or the road to hell
Our choice is our own consequences bind
We are the kings of wisdom, the fools as well
We are the gods to many, we are humble men
We who build great works just to break them down
We who make our rules so we never fail

Have I no control, is my soul not mine?
Am I not just man, destiny defined?
Never to be ruled nor held to heel
Not heaven or hell just the land between
Am I not man, does my heart not bleed?
No lord, no God, no hate, no pity, no pain, just me
Comprehend and countermand
Synchronous guidance. I choose my way
Never to be ruled nor held to heel
No heaven or hell, just the land between

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Enveloped in a sentiment,
a sound that rushes over me.
Engage an impulse to pretend
I have a faith as pure.
Not forgetting what it means to dream.
Indulging everything.
Entertaining thoughts that I've the strength
of those I yearn to be.
Cheers and tribute greet the saviours.
Reckless thoughts survive.
Anachronistic and impulsive.

And what will happen?
Will I dream?
I am too scared to close my eyes.
For a second please hold me.
None can change in me these things that I believe.
But I don't know what happens now.
I am too scared to close my eyes.

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The paths that I once tread
have all but gone.
Only embers now smoulder
where bridges once burned.
I feel alive and yet I fear
what may happen now.
I know I can't return.

And I hear me say again
'oh let me not return'.
Damn the illusion of redemption
and the hopes that held me here.
I will oppose all that would befall me.
With this rage inside of me
I will defy what I would become.

The solitude and anger
that do battle inside me
will always guide me to the answers
that I know I may not see.
They are the bonds that hold me tighter.
They are the chains that weigh on me.
One day I know they will be gone.

Can I start again and erase this pain
by casting doubts into the waters,
asking judgement of the sea.
Though fortune may guide to the fools
I have no wish to be free
until I am gone.

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396 words