March 17, 2004 10:34PM
Can You Save Me From Myself... (Head Full of Ghosts)
I missed school today. I was up and ready at 7:00am, but when I went out, Ben was still in bed and I was pretty sure Maggie had stayed over or whatever because I saw her shoes when I got home from Linzies at 4. So I figured Ben was staying home with her again, cause he wasn't up for school, and as everyone knows I'm incredibly weak and didn't want to make the trip to school on my own, so I just went back in my room and fell asleep.I'm not very happy with where I am in my life right now. Everything seems to be falling apart or has fallen apart. Nothing seems to go well, and everything I try usually punches me in the face. I'm just not happy at all... I want to be, and I've tried to be, so don't give me that bullshit about trying and not sitting here feeling sorry for myself. I tried, for the last month or so, I've been trying to make the best out of bad situations and create opprotunities and nothing works.
I don't feel very loved by Linzie anymore, and I'm sure she would blame it on my moodiness and difficulty being happy, which is fine I guess... I just hate it that she doesn't come to me and tell me she hates it, she just holds it in when she's around me and takes it out on me in other ways, and then tells other people that I've been being 'difficult' as of late. Fuck.. I just wish people could be themselves and talk. And be honest. and just not fuck people around for.. strange human reasons.
I watched Wrestlemania last night. It was much better than last years (which is when and why I stopped watching wrestling completely). The dead man came back, the Undertaker is now the Undertaker again, which is awesome because he brings something to wrestling that has been missing for a long while. All together the event was four and a half hours long.
I called Lindy at work to talk for a bit, but she had to let me go cause Liz was there and she never called me back like she said... probably forgot... On Monday night myself, Linzie, Marilyn, my Mom and Lindy and Dustin all went to East Side Marios to celebrate Dustin's birthday (for those of you who don't know, Dustin is my Sisters boyfriend of .. five years maybe? or more? I dunno.. long time.) I had a half chicken meal that came with potatos, chicken (duh) bread and italian wedding soup. It was really good, and I actually enjoyed myself. Afterwards I got Lindy to bring me to No Frills to grab some Coke and Chips and then Linzie and I went to her house (Linzie's) and watched movies all night. We watched Freddy Vs. Jason, which was a good stupid horror movie.. .know what I mean? Like.. if you take it for what it is, it's entertaining and fun. After that we watched House of the Dead, which is one of the worst movies in existance. It wasn't scary, nor was it entertaining. Do not watch this movie no matter what.
Lately I've been listening to Razed in Black, Bush, Zeromancer, Orgy, KMFDM and Corey Heart. I've been laying in bed too much and playing a lot and a lot of Breath of Fire 2. I'm at the end of the game now and I'm just building my characters up a bit before heading down to fight the last boss. I don't remember the ending at all, so I'm excited to finish the game. After I'm finished, I'm going to start playing Breath of Fire 1. I'm also excited to start that one because I've never really gotten anywhere in the first one, even though I've owned it for SNES for about ten years.
I've been talking to Ally lately, and it's nice because I don't really talk to anyone anymore. And no one really talks to me. Ally and I usually talk about old times, and talk about music and things we both enjoy like.. rain.. and music.. and old times. Yeeaaah, shut up. I don't really have anything more to say except... you die now!
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Timeline
- I lived with Ben on Cartier
- I was with Linzie
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