March 17, 2003 12:37PM
Such a Nice Day..
Today was a good day. I spent the afternoon with Linzie, laying and just being together. It was such a warm beauitful day.. waiting for the bus was actually enjoyable and just the feeling of sun made/makes me happy. Work was okay today because it wasn't freezing, wasn't busy and Julia kept me company. When I got home from work, Linzie had a candle lit table set up for us to eat dinner :) It was such a pleasant surprise. I sometimes forget how romantic she is at heart. very unexcpected, but very appreciated!
So the pills I've been taking are totally driving me... insane. Okay, so not insane, but they're being bastards. I feel nausious a lot. Very often.. all the time. I also get motion sickness. So, if I'm in a car, or a bus or whatever, I'll almost vomit. Usually about once every half hour I have to go to the bathroom becuase I think I might throw up. There are also a few other side effects, but the sickness is the worst by far... hopefully it passes after I take them for awhile longer or might have to stop, because this is horrible.
Last night I went to see Snapcase and the Julianna Theory. It was a good show overall, however it was extremely overpriced. I wouldn't have gone except Linzie really wanted to, and I really wanted to be with her, so it was worth the money to just be there with her.
These are the most poetic and beautiful words ever written:
We held hands on the last night on earth. Our mouths filled with dust, we kissed in the fields and under trees, screaming like dogs, bleeding dark into the leaves. It was empty on the edge of town but we knew everyone floated along the bottom of the river. So we walked through the waste where the road curved into the sea and the shattered seasons lay, and the bitter smell of burning was on you like a disease. In our cancer of passion you said, "Death is a midnight runner." The sky had come crashing down like the news of an intimate suicide. We picked up the shards and formed them into shapes of stars that wore like an antique wedding dress. The echoes of the past broke the hearts of the unborn as the ferris whell silently slowed to a stop. The few insects skittered away in hopes of a better pastime. I kissed you at the apex of the maelstrom and asked if you would accompany me in a quick fall, but you made me realize that my ticket wasn't good for two. I rode alone. You said, "The cinders are falling like snow." There is poetry in despair, and we sang with unrivaled beauty, bitter elegies of savagery and eloquence. Of blue and grey. Strange, we ran down desperate streets and carved our names in the flesh of the city. The sun has stagnated somewhere beyond the rim of the horizon and the darkness is a mystery of curves and lines. Still, we lay under the emptiness and drifted slowly outward, and somewhere in the wilderness we found salvation scratched into the earth like a message.
And that is all. Goodnight.
Of late it's harder just to go outside, to leave this deadspace with hatred so alive. Writhing with sickness, thrown into banality, I decay. Killed by the weakness, but forced to return. Turn it off. I watch the stars as they fall from the sky. I held a fallen star and it wept for me, dying. I feel the fallen stars encircle me now, as they cry. out there so quickly grows malignant tribes. Posthuman extinction excels unrecognized. Feeling surrounded, so bored with mortality, I decay. All of this hatred is fucking real. Turn it on. It won't be all right despite what they say. Just watch the stars tonight as they disappear, disintegrate. And I disintegrate cause this hate is fucking real. And I hope to shade the world as stars go out and I disintegrate.
680 words
2 Comments
Timeline
- I lived with Ben on Cartier
- I was with Linzie
- I worked at Pizza Hut
2 Comments
January 01, 2000
those lyrics are still the most beautiful things ever written.
January 01, 2000
thank you for letting me read them
i have to agree with you
>3
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