Excessive

this is Taki

It sucks becuase the last one awake each night... my MSN list is vacant or people are set on away, there are no updates on livejournals, Nick is asleep on the couch, Vanessa is sleeping so I can't call her, and my kitties are all asleep in warm places like on coats, in comforters and other various locations. It sucks because I'm in the mood to sociallize... in the mood to talk, to bring things up, to figure things out. I'm just in a mood to write, and not just an entry, but write things, like MSN messeges, and replies to comments on LJ, and just things like that. Oh well, I'll have to wait tomorow for the random updates that will be unleashed from me without mercy.

Today was actually a pretty happy, good day. It consisted of a very few, sepcific events, when brought together, form this little happy bubble where I can exist with a smile on my face and have it be as simple as that. The day started by waking up around 1 to 1:30pm from both my alarm and from Vanessa callng me to make sure I was up. I threw on some pants (grey cords) and threw on a shirt... which just so happened to be Nicks hehe... okay, I admit, I knew it was his... actually Vanessa thought it would look so nice on me that she folded it and put it in my drawer hehe. It's black, short sleeve, but comes down farther on the waiste than most shirts (it's handy for hding your package) and has a line across the chest: half the line is read with black hearts through it, then the line is stopped by a skull, then the other side of the skull (where the line would keep going) says: Love is evil, kill it now while you're alive. I love the shirt and it looks good on me, so I was happy. Anyway, after dressing, I straightened my hair, styled it, shaved, put on some cover up... and then felt lazy, so I didn't put any eye make up on (no liner or shadow at all). So basically from that part on I was ready. Eventually Britanny showed up, and she came in and we played a bit of Soul Calibur 2, but after awhile we decided it would be in our best interest if we got ready and left for Hardcore, because it was a school day and we didn't want to get caught there with a bunch of little snot nosed, retard teens who want their everything peirced cause it'll make them more socially acceptable.. or something. We got there around 3:00pm, and we went in and Brittany told Jesse that she wanted her septum pierced (by him) and he said sure, asked her if she wanted the standard horseshoe ring through the nose, where Brit just looked over at me for help, since it was my idea of what to get her, I just said that we had just a small cbr in mind, snug to the nose. I then asked if he remember Linzie, and he said oooh yeah, sure, like that. no problem. So she filled out the papers and we waited at the back of the place, in front of Jesse's room.

I told Brittany that Jesse was the greatest piercer ever, and he oh so skillfully demonstrated that fact. She sat down on the table type thing, where he cleaned/disinfected the nose, and then help up the cbr he had in mind for the piercing, and it looked to match up perfectly; looked like it would be nice a snug to the nose. So, he got the clamps or what have you, put them in the ol' nostrals, and lined them up very, very straight, and then told Brit what was gonna happen... take a deep breath in and then out and I'll push it through, and you'll be done. So Britt grabbed my hand and said she was ready, and Jesse went to work, and poke, with a bit of a breath and a squeeze from Britt, it was through, she smiled, Jesse smiled and all was happy. So now that it was through Jesse put the cbr through, but while he was trying to put the ball on, he realized that the cbr may have been a bit too snug for the piercing, and the ball wouldnt clasp on all the way without the risk of it fall/popping off, but he couldn't take out the jewelry and put in the next bigger one, so what he did was make sure the ball was on there good, slid the jewelry on the side so the ball was hidden up the nostril, and then when the hole heals up a bit in about two days (friday), we can go back and he'll put in the correct cbr (which will be a perfect snug fit), which was very nice of him. So, even with the ball up one of her nostrils, the septums piercing looks amazing on Brit, and I haven't seen it look better on anyone, except maybe Linzie. So I'm excited to go back on Friday to get new jewelry for it to see it in it's full glory hehe. Also, I was very proud of Brit for actually going through with it, not freaking out, not having second thoughts and just carrying herself very well through it all... awesome stuff.

2player Tetris Worlds

After Hardcore, Brittanny and I walked around downtown for a bit, just for no reason imparticular, just to walk. We went to the market, and got some fresh rye bread to enjoy with our dinner (a dinner Brit had brought over earlier) and we didn't really spend much more time in the market. From there we went on over to From Mars, where we just browsed around... I didn't really see anything I liked except for a couple pairs of pants that I could probably pull off, and like one shirt... but the rest just isn't really... my style... I don't really like much of it, never have. Ater that we went to Commander Salamander and looed around, but not for very long... I really dislike that store, as I can't help but find it insulting to one of my subcultures (the fact that I'm a gamer and they're trying to commericializing the geekness I worked so hard on attaining). Britt found a sweater that she really liked though, and said she's gonna come back when she get's paid and probably buy it... but I told her that her and I should go and get her a nice straightening iron with her next paycheque, since the sweater would make her look good on one day, while the iron would make her look good eeeeveryday! See kids, that's what we call logic at work. I know most of my readers aren't quite sure what this 'logic' is, but we'll work on it. After that, we went to the Rock Shop, where I showed Britt the pants that I really wanted the week earlier, and looked amazing on me, but the waiste was too small, even for a large. So Brit took them, tried them on and she looked great in them... fit her perfectly, especially in the waste/buttox region.. fucking whore. I wish I could wear them :( I have no pants I really like... especially no fancy ones. So she said she's gonna come back next pay and get them since they were only twenty bucks.. I'm very envious. I also looked at Nicks pants he just got there... the dark blue chords. FUCK HIM! Those are some of the nicest pants I've ever seen and they would probably look amazing on me! Oh well, I'll wait until he's asleep and wear them mwuhaha.

Although I'm still talking about my walk with Brit, the other paragraph was getting long and chaotic so I figured I'd start a new one. Ahem... after the rock shop, we went to shoenet, and I looked some shoes, saw one pair that I thought were kinda cool, but remembered them to have been a lot cooler than they actually were, so everyone I might have mentioned it to, I do NOT want those lame shoes for christmas. I just want the continued rights to wear Nicks swears and all will be well in Kittyland. After shoenet, we were tired... although my ears were warm from my new earmuffs!!!! We decided it would be best to go home, eat some supper and relax before Brit had to leave for work.

For the first time in about ten years, someone made me supper. I was breathless! She just asked where the pots were and that was that. It was so nice of her to do that, especially since it was my house. She made this noodles thingy, with a peppercorn white sauce, which was just wonderful, with a slice of rye bread on the side and a nice tall glass of lemonaide. I tried my best to eat as much as possible (since I know I'm dying from malnutrition) and I managed to eat almost all of it except for about two or three noodles. It was a really good meal actually... and even though I know Brit doesn't read this at all, thanks! It meant a lot that you'd go to the trouble of cooking me a meal, and from what I hear from Nick, you actually LOVE cooking and stuff, which is awesome, cause so do i! We should share recipes heheh.

After we enjoyed supper and stuff, we decided to play a few more rounds of Soul Calibur 2 (because for some reason, neither of us can seem to get enough of it. Usually I get bored of games after a few minutes but holy crap... this game came out of nowhere and just captivated me). We played some more matches, yelled, holla'd and did the Xena scream a few times ala' Brittany, and then it was time for Brit to head off to work, so with a hug she was off, and I was all alone.

Although I had such an enjoyable morning/afternoon, something left me feeling a bit down once I was along... I suppose it was just the fact that I went from such an eleveated mood, to such a drop to numbness, so I was feeling a bit down, and all I wanted to feel was excitement, hope or whatever... just ya know, really happy.. whatever. I tried talking to the Veliminator (haha) but she wasn't feeling her best and I guess I ended up just giving up and decided to sleep since I was bored of games from playing so many with Michelle the night before, and then with Britt this afternoon, and I had read everyones LJ updates, my comments, checked my myspace and read over most of the PA G&T board... so I just laid down out of boredome, in hopes that time would pass but I wouldn't get depressed. I had a horrible sleep, waking to the sound of a phone for what seemed like every few minutes... I'd hear tapping, or banging... I think I told someone, but I think the person I told was imaginary. Anyway, it was a horrible, horrible nap and I definitley woke up much more depressed and paranoid than when I had laid down, and I just had this evil, rotten feeling in my stomache, the same one I've been getting ever since that one night Vanessa and I had a bit of a conflict. Something just feels real off inside me, like I broke something in there... but I won't get into that... I've just been feeling very weird, doubtful, scared, doubting myself, doubting my abilities to make others happy... ya know, the normal stuff that I only rid myself of for about a month; it only makes sense it came back. .. where was this paragraph going?? Oh yeah.. nap.

After Vanessa woke me up from my nap (twice.. thanks for being persistent hehe.. im hard to wake up), I rushed to the living room for Popcorn and America's Next Top Model. It was 8:28 when I turned it on, so I had missed about half (and everyone knows the first half is the better half, FUCK!) but I sat and enjoyed the rest of it, and I was quite disappointed with the results. I won't give anything away about the results for those of you who are going to download it or what it on sateliete later on, but that fucking Bre girl is such a little cunt face douchebag. She has no inner OR outter beauty, and I think deserves to be kicked off right from the get go. Not only is she mean, childish and cruel.. she has no charm, and just comes off very... blahish. BOO TO YOU BRE!! SHAME!! My girl rocks all yours!

After AMTN was over, I spent the next hour just playing survival mode in Soul Calibur 2... playing with different characters and seeing how long I can survive without dying (hence the name of the gamemode.. duh!). It's probably my favorite mode right now... just fighting for my life, trying to take as little damage as I can, but still managing to deal out fast and strong damage. I'm really enjoying the style of some of the characters, especially some of the girls. They had to make everyones name extremely complicated and foriegn, or else I'd name some of my favorites, but nope... I have no idea what their names are, and if I did, I wouldn't know how to say or spell them. There are exceptions of course... like Talith is very awesome.. both Brittannys and Vanessa's girl of choice... she's very quick, very deadly with her daggers. I like her because she can move really ast both back and forth, sneak in and stab, then grapple and then get out of there just as fast... real tricky stuff. So right now, I'm basically just using each and every character a lot, getting a sense of their style, and how they go about grappling, and how fast they can kill and stuff... it's interesting and fun. It's even more fun now that I have some people to play with because not only is it more fun for me, a stress releaver for me and whatnot, but it's opening up a whole new world for a few other people.. and I'm showing Nick how it can releave stress, bring excitement and accomplishment, and just endless amounts of fun. I'm slowly breaking Vanessa in with Tetris and a bit of Soul Calibur 2, but I haven't really figured out exactly how serious she is about it all hehe. As long as she has fun, that's all I care about. I really love our tetris sessions we have with each other, so if that's all she wants, than that's super fine by me.

After my hour of Soul Calibur 2ing my ass off, Brittanny showed up at the window, meaning she was done work, and so I went and let her in, and guess what we did! haha.. we played Soul Calibur 2! We didn't play for that long really... I guess... it's hard to keep track. She didn't get there until around 10:15 or so, and then we played till around 10:45 or something. Then we decided to play some co-op Halo 2... where you play through the single player game as a team, fighting the evil coventant asa team together, rather than fighting each other, and we did surprisingly well with that, since I let her lead most of the time, and she actually didn't shoot me once or nade me by aiccdent or anything. That went on for awhile and we eventually finished the first level, and with that accomplishement, we decided to just watch some TV because Brit was gonna have to leave soon anyway to catch the bus home.

Brittanny went home around 11:22 or so, to catch the bus home, and with a hug she was out the door, and I was left with an empty apartment, and a slightly empty feeling inside myself.

After that, I went in my room, threw on some music (Dir En Grey) and talked to a few people on MSN, like probably my favorite MSN person to talk to right now Vanessa, because we always talk about some really fun things, and I always think of interesting questions and ideas to discuss, moreso than when we're together at my house, or in my bed or whatever, where I usually just repeat 'you're petty... you're petty' over and over again while drooling slightly. I also talked to Brit when she got home (apparently she missed her bus haha) and I talked to Emily, who has been doing a pretty good job at making me feel like a friend, rather than something else... and a few other random people (you know how it is). After awhile, around 12:00am or so, I heard Nick arrive home, and he came in and holla'd, and we talked for a bit. I don't really remember this part that clearly for some reason... mostly because it blends with all the other nights... but I'm sure I continued talking to some people on MSN, while talking to Nick about his day and stuff. Times went by, and eventually Nick and I ended up out in the living room.

For the most part of the night, Nick and I do two things. We always talk... usually about relationships and love, and how they relate to us, and our lives, and friends. We talk about habits, likes and dislikes, how to handle situations... just all kinds of things, because both of us are very good with advice, so we always have advice for each other in handling certain situations, and I always respect his advice. Him and I are getting quite close, and we're both 100% honest with each other (I'm assuming) and I think that creates quite a unique bond, where we can talk about each other, or people, or our relationships with complete honestly, and then from there come up with advice or at least just talk about what it all means. I value our relationship, because it's always nice to have a different perspective on things, and in some situations, it's nice to have someone on my side. So after our talking and stuff (which both does each other really good I think), out of nowhere, we decided to play some games. Seriously, people seem to turn into gamers when exposed to me for long periods of time. I'm really glad people or at least my friends now it seems, can lighten up a little bit and play a bit... realize that it really is a fun hobby to get into, even just a little bit. Nick and I played Soul Calibur 2 and Halo 2... I think.. I'm really confused actually, about what we played... because I'm well, on three pills of imovane... and I'm tired. Regardless... I think we played together, and if not, I know he watched me play some Soul Calibur. After the night was drawing to an end (Vanessa went to bed early like a good girl... she needs her rest, cause she has been feeling very drained lately... I worry about my lady..), I decided to leave Nick alone (since ya know, his snoring was a good sign he wanted to be alone) and then I came in here, threw on some music (Death From Above 1979), started this entry (at 5:52am) and now I'm just about finished the entry (8:32am).

Tomorrow, or what seems like today by looking out my window... actually, gimme a second here. It's fucking beautiful outside; There is thick snow floating... blowing on the strong wind outside, that if it were not for the warm air and thick window between us, I'm sure would be quite chilling. There is beautiful snow hanging on each branch, and completely covering a vehicle with what looks like the most comfortable pillow ever created. This is comfort... this right here is what happyness is. This right here is what I want my life to be.. Anyway.. Tomorrow is Thursday, and that means it's the day Linzie is supposed to come over but probabl won't, and other than that I don't really have any plans. If anyone is up for some video games, let me know, cause right now it seems to be doing a really good job at keeping me happy!

Well, it's been a pleasure writing this four hour long entry... it was worth the time to get most of this out of my system... and I have lots more where that came from but I'm starting to realize just how late/early it is, and if I don't start my game of Advanced Wars DS soon, I'll never get to bed, I'll never get up, and I'll just wake up depressed and that's just the total opposite of what I want for today/tomorrow. So.. with that, I'll leave you with a quote: "I have a bad taste in my mouth" -Jordan, 2005.

3542 words

4 Comments