March 23, 2003 6:47AM
Dammit..
i forgot to take my pill yesterday. It was Linzie and I's 11 month thingy and I walked to her house and retrieved her at 5:30 in the morning, and we went back to my place and slept together until 3pm! Yay! It was so nice to wake up beside her. But anyway, I forgot to take my pill because I woke up late, had to go to work and stuff.. but anyway, I hate this feeling. I want to die and I hate everything and everyone and I know why and I know it can go away but I have to wait to take today's pill so I'm going to feel this way for hours. I read what I wrote a couple days ago and I want to cry because of how much I want to feel that happy now but can't because I'm not drugged. I feel lonely, unimportant and insignificant. I'm beyond the point of insanity in everyday life. The way I think in my head now, is like I'm writing. My inner dialog is no longer dialog, it's me writing to myself, in my head.. All the time.. it drives me nuts and I can't shut it off.
200 words
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Timeline
- I lived with Ben on Cartier
- I was with Linzie
- I worked at Pizza Hut
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