July 20, 2002 4:03AM
Scared and Alone... not anymore.
So today I actually went out somewhere. I was nervous as hell but I still went out. I just went to a concert. Big deal eh? Nothing to be nervous about.. heh. Good show though.. I noticed the bands played a lot of NOFX... which was kinda cool because I could easily recognize the songs. The entire time I was there I felt nervous... it sucked. Not only that but I had to pee and people kept going in and out of the bathroom so I wasn't going to use it... so I just held it in and suffe.. I mean sat comfortably until I got home. Since this was a small local show I'd say it was quite good even though Some Guys thought they sucked they were pretty good.
Ben and I played some WarCraft III won two and lost one. Not sure where we stand now. We're having some trouble getting back up there... mostly because I haven't been in a right state of mind since we started losing... I dunno what it is I'm just having trouble concentrating and 'getting in the game'. We also played some 4v4's with Ozkar and Marcinek and we raped but by the end I was tired not concentrating and I had a headache so I didn't get any enjoyment out of it at all...
It was Linzie's birthday today and the entire crowd at the show were singing happy birthday it was pretty snazzy. I made her supper! Birthday supper! oooh! That's snazzy too.. I gave her her present a few days ago so I had nothing to give her today... which I didn't really think of until now.. there were a few things I wanted to get her but lack of money prevented that. I know she doesn't care but I'd still like to get her those things if only to make her smile.
Speaking of Linzie (I kinda do that a lot) when we got home from the show at around 10:30 we just layed down with music on and talked. We played the topic game and just asked questions back and forth (the offical rules will be posted soon!) and we both opened up quite a bit. It was very very nice. We talked about the past present and future of our lives about our relationship and things we regret would change love the most hate the most and just about everything imaginable. I could do that for hours and hours... we eventually stopped at 1am cause her Dad was there to pick her up.. which sucked I really didn't want her to leave. We're both staying up till the morning and she's coming over at 6:30 and we're gonna go to sleep together... yay! Maybe we'll talk for a bit some more!
As for music I've been listening to Pulley a lot. Great band awesome live. I saw them live probably a year or a year and a half ago with No Use For A Name Bigwig One Man Army and of course Pulley. I remember that show... Bigwig opened (back when Mellissa Ian and I were the only crazed fans) and then One Man Army went on and everyone sat down I felt bad for them... but they sucked. Then Pulley went on and they kicked some ass (how couldn't they?) and then No Use went on and kicked some ass also. I bought a No Use (Star Trek referenced) shirt and a Pulley CD (FUCK!) at that show. So if you haven't heard Pulley or haven't heard them a lot you should check out either Working Class Whore or Second Best which you can get at my Song List (under the P section.. jeeze).
You know what I hate? I WANT to write but I really can't think of anything more to talk about. I just want to write right now. Arg. Perhaps I can talk about how Star Trek kicks ass! Cause it does.. you all know it. The original is awesome... who doesn't like Bones? Eh? and Spock? talk about a fucking stud! Or another great show Quantum Leap! Talk about amazing! You know now that I think about it I've seen everyone of a lot of series... let's see here... Star Trek Star Trek: The Next Generation Star Trek: Deep Space 9 Star Trek Voyager Highlander Quantum Leap Xena Friends Simpsons Frasier Seinfeld Invader Zim... what is this saying about me? Perhaps too much time? I think ... not. HAH! Tricked you! Fuckers.
Ah dammit I'm getting the huge urge to just lay down.. I'm tired.. but I've got to wait for Linzie and I don't want to fall asleep... cause she doesn't have her key or anything. Who knows maybe she's gonna fall asleep at home and won't even come over early then I'll have suffered by staying up so late for nothing! Then I'd shoot myself! WITH MY INVISIBLE GUN!! WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU STARING AT ME!?... *takes a breath*
I'm going to Ben's on Tuesday and we're going to bowling and try and bring Erin... for old times sake... really old times sake. Back when we were little we'd go bowling with Me Ben and Erin then go to Dairy Queen and then go to Ben's and eat Ice Cream and Coke... so.. that's what we're going to do! Pretty cool idea if you ask me.. the only thing that will be new is Ben's going to be constantly groping Erin's large bitch tits. I mean sure they do have a lot (and I mean alot kids) of anal intercourse but there usually isn't hand to breast contact.. so this is going to be something new. Oh.. for those of you who don't know her Erin is our 24 year old friend.. since when.. probably around 1993. So when I was 9. HAH! Strange. I actually remember when she was starting high school... she was nervous about it... I think I was starting grade 5 or 6 then... Ben her and I were all sitting in our fort that was in the forest.. man that fort kicked some ass. We lived right in front of the Bolar Ski Hill.. and it was completely forested at the time and we found this GIANT thorn bush.. like impassable.. and we cut out little rooms and walk ways in it so if you were to step off the walk way you'd get stabbed by a million thorns... it was cool.. we were sitting in the fort talking and I just remember her talking about how she was scared to go to high school.
Ben and I use to make forts using his couch cushions.. good times. I think we should do that again! That would be so cool.. then we could sleep in the forts.. *sigh* good times. Or maybe we should go in the forest and make a fort! Or maybe we should walk up onto the ski-hill-in-progress known as hill2000... I dunno if it's still called that but it was when I lived there.. it's kinda passed year 2000.. that's when it was supposed to be turned into a snow covered ski hill.. but it's just a man made dirt hill.. taller than any of the existing ski-hills mind you but man made no less.
Alright well that appears to be all I can think of to write about now.. so I'll just lay down or think of something else to do for awhile... bye bye.
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Timeline
- I lived with my Mom
- I was with Linzie
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