Excessive

I'm so sick of everything lately... everyone, everything and everywhere. What is with people? I mean seriously, what is actually wrong with everyone? Why is it that everyone alive is such a heartless, petty asshole? Why are people so desperate to create conflict? I just don't get any of it, and I'm really starting to not care.

As many people contacted me with questions the other day, here's what happened. I was developing a script for Webkore related to support, testing a function, and there was a bug. The script ran for approx. 5 seconds, and I knew it wasn't working, so I hit stop. I then got a message telling me to stop the script because it was causing stress, and since I had already stopped it, I removed the function from the server, and that was that. About ten minutes after that, my account was suspended, and stayed suspended for around 18 hours. I guess it was at that moment when I decided to quote fuck it in the ass unquote. I deleted the script I had been working on from the server, as well as my hard drive, and have no plans on starting again. I guess I just don't see how risking account suspension for attempting to write code that's not even for me is worth it. Doing nice things seem to have no reward of any kind, except a kick in the ass; fuck that shit. That event has put me in a foul mood from... well... then until about now. I guess I'm just baffled by it... but it's put me in a bad mood, which I'm sure is noticable by those around me.

I've been feeling pretty sick lately... always feeling sick to my stomache, or dizzy, or just not feeling good in general. The weather has been nice though, and the breezes always make me feel a bit better, but I'm hoping this feeling like complete crap, emotionally and physically thing passes quickly, because I can't take it very much longer.

On and off for the last little bit I've been spending some time working on my music collection... organizing it by collecting album covers, track listing... many things like that, as well as collecting albums that I was missing, more albums by artists I forgot I liked or never knew I had, or songs missing from albums. It keeps me busy in between other things. I'm totally in love with Anaklein, and if anyone has tracks by her, give me! Also, three latest Iron & Wine albums are very nice to listen to, as well as the Curious George soundtrack (which is all done by Jack Johnson) and I've been listening to a large variety of other stuff as well, like Against All Authority (a lot) and A Static Lullaby.

Tomorrow I go to Futureshop again to replace my Apple Mighty Mouse for the second time, making it the third mouse in a month and a bit. It'd be cool if the scroll ball didn't crap out after a week. I'll be catching lunch with my Mom again, and hopefully it rains so I can enjoy the day.

I guess I'm doing okay... I just don't get why people love bullshit so much. I mean, even if things are going perfect, and really enjoyable, people will just make shit up so they have something to be sad about... well I'm sick of having things wrecked for me.

I'm going to relax and watch Conan... I'll write again tomorrow.

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