Excessive

I'm so drained. I didn't think that was how I was going to start this entry, but it's really the main thing floating over my head right now. I work 3:00pm to 11:30pm each and every weekday, and since it's located on the other side of the city, I have to leave about an hour early, which means I don't get much time to do anything but work or go to or from work. I can admit that I'm starting to get into the groove of things, if I may say so, in that I've been coming up with more creative and flexible ideas for food, so I don't starve to death at work, but it still never seems to make me 'feel' good. By the end of the night I always have a migrane, feel sick to my stomache, and am way overheated. They keep the training room heated at like.. well, one guy actually caught on fire.

I don't really have much time to write an entry... just wanted to let everyone know that I'm working Monday to Friday from 3pm to 11:30pm, which translates to me leaving home at 2:00pm and getting home at 12:30am... so as you can see, I don't really have much time to update everyone on what I'm doing... most likely the weekend will be when I actually tell everyone what's going on.

no more blazer! me and a cute kitty (kairi)
oh.. and my hair has been cut a bit. it's much shorter in most places.

I usually don't post much news, even game related news, but over the past weekend there was the annual Game Developers Conference and there was a lot revealed and spoken of. Lots of known 'guys' in the industry spoke out about various topics and I thought that a few of them should be brought to your attention.

I'm not sure if I've mentioned it enough for people to remember but I've stated that I've been messing around with layouts for pages and stuff lately, and I finished another one tonight, and I think it's alright, not the best I've ever done of course.. but it was a good distraction for the most part.. for the five minutes it distracted me. You can of course check it out and leave a comment to let me know how it looks. Here's the link: clickity click.

So I went out today with resumes and handed them out in most every place I could think of. In the mall, and at Value Mart and various places in the market. I also went to Stobies where the girl, whom I don't know personally, but know as 'the stobies girl' knew who I was, apparently through Dave, and was really nice and made me feel confident about perhaps a call back, since she'll probably put in a good word for me or something along those lines. I'd rather work at Stobies than any call center in the world because I have tons of experience with pizza and I'd rather deal with people over a cash register than over a phone. I called Stream when I got home and they confirmed that I have the job but that there just isn't a training program starting until mid to late march. It's exactly as I had been saying all along... but no ones going to notice that.

the soul is fucking missing. you all fucking wrecked it for me. all of you have destroyed the potential.

disgusted with humanity now more than ever; the god damn fucking soul is missing.

Someone really needs to make a good, quality, reliable ROM site, because I'm sick of spending entire nights just trying to find a couple gameboy roms I'm missing, when if someone just ran a respectable site, I could find in five minutes.

on a side note... emucation.com is down

Today was one of the worst days in a very long time. I think I actually disappeared for a bit, because hours went by without my knowledge. I'd check the clock and it would be an hour later than it should've been. Argh.. I'm meeelting.

Last night, Linzie came online at around 2:40 in the morning, and I remember clicking on that little box that pop-ups, saying shithead is online or whatever. I remember looking at the empty message box long enough for the display picture to download, and then I just closed it. Seconds later she sent me a message. Strange.. but these things happen to me all the time. She just wanted some tips on cooking tomatos for spagetthi, which I gave her. It's just saddening to be reminded that we'll never talk to each other the same again. I hate it. She's doing exactly what I always knew she'd do; she got herself together and is going to kings, exactly like she always said. Makes me proud in some way.

Today seems like a blink. I don't remember any of it... it seems to have lasted for maybe two minutes, and I'm not exagerating... that's what it feels like. I've decided the internet blows; it's so fucking boring. Everyone's blogs and/or journals are so depressing that I refuse to even go to read them, message boards are slow and mostly filled with idiots (except Godly Gods) and there's just nothing left for me online. On a side note, Sunday TV sucks.

It's 5:36am and I'm not in bed and I'm not tired and it's - again - going to screw up my tomorrow, and most likely affect my moods even more. I'm sitting here, alone, with Tony Bennett on, thinking nothing, feeling nothing... it just seems something is missing. There's just go to be something missing.